The Recoil Rock Series Box Set Page 14

  I really want to leave. I’m not finding my time at the club is at all useful, and no one even looks at me or even barely acknowledges me now that I’m of no use to them there. Well, except for Techie, but he’s a friend so he doesn’t count.

  I roll over in the bed next to Danger, and he smiles down at me running his hand up and down my arm as I cuddle into his side. He leans in kissing my head and I sigh.

  “That’s a big sigh. Something on your mind?”

  I swallow hard wondering how he might take what I am about to say, but I figure there’s no point in holding back, I should just say it. “Okay, so I’ve been thinking.”

  He stiffens slightly and nods. “Yeah?”

  “How would you feel about me leaving the club for good? Coming with you guys when you leave for your tour and spending all my time with you while working on the foundation from the road? I could still manage the merch stands too that way?” I blurt out, and he smiles wide looking down into my eyes.

  His Adam’s apple rises and falls as he swallows hard and grins. “I’d love that, really.”

  “But?”

  He smiles and wipes some hair from my face. “But, are the guys going to just let you walk away from the club?”

  Nodding, I smile. “Yes. But if I do… there’s no going back.”

  He nods and his lips turn up into the biggest smile I think I’ve ever seen from him. Then he turns, rolling over on top of me and presses me into the bed as I squeal from the sudden movement. “You would be out of that club for good?” he reaffirms.

  I nod slowly with a smile creeping up on my face. He grins so wide his teeth almost blind me as he moves in kissing me so passionately it takes me by surprise. My hands move around his back feeling his muscles clench as he rocks into me, making me moan into his mouth as his tongue ring assaults my tongue.

  He pulls back looking deep into my eyes and shakes his head. “If there was one thing in this world you could give me, it would be for you to walk away from the Satan’s Savages. If you want to come on tour with us, then please pack your bags and leave that life behind. Start a new one with me.”

  “Well, that sounds very romantic.”

  He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “No, not romantic. I need you to know you’re worth more, so much more than what they show you. You’re not a stripper, Lunar. You’re Annalise, the business woman entrepreneur. You’re going to do great things untied from their leash.”

  “You saying I’m a dog?” I tease.

  He clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “No, don’t be like that. I’m just saying they’re holding you back from your full potential. Restraining you. When you cut the leash, you’ll be free to be who you are. Who you need to be. Not who they want you to be.”

  I nod and smile. “Yeah, you’re right. I just have to find the right time to tell them. I need to sort it out, go back, pack up my shit, get my affairs in order and then leave. I just have to know I have a place by your side?”

  “You do, but I want you to know that you don’t need me either. You’re a strong, capable woman, and even without me you could stand on your own two feet.”

  “You believe in me that much?”

  He nods. “I really do.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  I’ve been back at the club for three days now packing and getting everything in order. Techie is helping me with everything I need. He knows I’m going to leave, but I just have to find the courage to tell the President, Mad Dog. He’s always been a little unpredictable, but hopefully, he will understand why I need to go. I’m of no use here anymore, and with Steel’s ban on the brothers coming to me for servicing, I’m really just a drain on them. I’m hoping that’s how Mad Dog will see it.

  But before I go to see Mad Dog, I need to go and knock some sense into an old friend. It might take some manipulation, but I know Techie’s tried and failed to have him come out of his room. Steel is so lost in his depression over losing Willow a month ago that he’s wasting away. Problem with that is, he’s the Vice President of this club and he’s losing the respect of his brothers because of—as they put it—some pussy. So I make my way down to his room, a room I know so well, and take a deep breath.

  I don’t bother knocking, he’d probably just tell me to go away, so instead I walk in. His room stinks—like farts and bourbon. He’s in bed with his dog Cassius lying next to him. He doesn’t look up as I sit down on the mattress and Cassius peeps up at me, so I pat his furry head. Gazing down at the mess in front of me, I’ve never seen Steel like this. He never gets depressed especially over women, he’s in a real mess. His beard is long, his eyes are droopy and red and his skin pale and pasty. He looks like shit! And it doesn’t upset me, it angers me. This tough, burly biker is wasting away and he’s letting it happen.

  “Right you! You need to get out of this funk.” I rest my hand on his shoulder as I let him know I’m here.

  He takes a deep breath and sighs. “I don’t know how.”

  Exhaling, I shake my head and pull him to face me. I’m pissed, and my eyes are stern as I glare at him. “You need to move on, or go and get her back. But either way, you stink. You’re supposed to be a tough biker and the VP of this club. Right now, Steel, you’re losing the respect of your brothers by sulking in here like a child.”

  He scoffs and pushes my hand off his shoulder. “Fuck off, I don’t need your advice.”

  I exhale and furrow my brows, pursing my lips. “Look Steel, we’ve had our ups and downs. I always saw myself heading down a path with you. It went skewiff when Willow came on the scene, then Danger showed up too and things are changing. But Willow’s gone, and now we both have to make a choice. Steel, I’ve always wanted to be your Old Lady. Deep down you know that—”

  “Lunar—”

  “No, let me finish. Steel, I know there’s something here. You need to make a choice and you need to make it now. I’m here, I’ve always been here. I love this club and I don’t want to leave, so being with you seems like the right choice for me. You’re who’s right for me, Steel. Just tell me you love me and we can move through this together.”

  This is all a front. I know he doesn’t want me. Hell, I don’t want him either, and I don’t want to stay at this club, I absolutely need to leave here. I’m hoping my words will be the shock he needs to get his ass in gear and go and fight for his girl.

  He clenches his muscles as he shakes his head slowly. Inwardly I smile as I see it clicking, and his facial expression changes. He knows he needs to fight for Willow.

  “Lunar, darlin’ you’re a good friend. You always have been—”

  “But?” I try to push the issue, I really need to make him see that he needs Willow, he has to fight for her.

  He exhales. “But I want Willow. I’m sorry, she’s the woman for me. I can’t get her out of my head. I’m sorry if I’m hurtin’ you. I know you want more from me, but I just can’t give it to you. You’re better off with Danger.”

  “You’re right! You’re so pathetic right now anyway lying here all pussy whipped and rotting away while your brothers talk about how you’re losing the plot.”

  I want him to think he’s hurting me, but he isn’t. I’m putting all of this on, so he can only see Willow—he needs to sort his shit out and fucking go to her.

  He scoffs. “Lunar, I’m sorry.”

  “Whatever! Willow deserves better than you. You’re weak, Steel. I don’t even know who you are right now. You’re certainly not Vice President material.”

  I’m trying to make him feel inadequate, to snap him the hell out of it.

  Fuck! I hope it’s working and not making it worse.

  “Lunar, you need to leave, before I say somethin’ I’ll regret.”

  I glower at him. “You just need to get laid. Do you want me to send in Skye or Jess?”

  His face contorts, and I know I’ve hit the nail on the head to make him angry. He clenches his fists as a bead of sweat drops down his temple. “Fuck off! Get the fuck out now, Lu
nar. How dare you come in here tellin’ me what I need? Fuck off! Get out! Get out!” he yells sitting up and using his force to push me off the bed.

  Huffing like I’m pissed off, I shake my head and walk to the door. “This is your funeral, Steel. Your brothers are going to cane you for this.”

  Closing the door behind me, a bright smile crosses my lips as I look down to Techie, who’s watching. I give him two thumbs up as a loud crash sounds against the door behind me. I jump and look down to see liquid oozing from under the door. Scrunching my face up, I slump slightly knowing he just threw his bourbon bottle at the door in anger.

  Maybe I was too hard on him?

  Shaking my head, I walk down to Techie and shrug. “I thought I got through to him, but then when I left he smashed the bourbon bottle against the door. Not sure if I’ve made it better or worse, I was a little brutal with him.”

  Techie shakes his head. “He needs it. He’s sinking, but you need not worry about him and move on. Prez is in the assembly room, want me to come with?”

  I simply nod.

  He wraps his arm around my shoulders pulling me to him and we walk to the large wooden doors of the assembly room.

  “I’ll be here the entire time.”

  I nod, and he knocks on the door.

  “Yeah?” Mad Dog calls out.

  Techie opens the door and we stride in. Mad Dog looks the same as always, his long gray beard forming a triangle down from his face, and his huge frame filling up the entire chair. He’s more than a little intimidating as he looks up and nods to Techie and me.

  “You two a thing now?”

  I scoff and push Techie off me while he chuckles.

  “She wishes.”

  “Do not!”

  “Okay lovers, what’s going on?” Mad Dog asks and Techie looks to me and nods.

  I exhale and slump my body. “You know how I’ve been spending more time with Danger and Recoil lately and less time at the club?”

  He nods and sits back in his chair, it creaks with the heaviness of his weight.

  Swallowing hard, I take another breath. “Well, I started a foundation and I’m going to be spending a lot more time on that. Recoil will be beginning their Australian tour soon, and I’d… like to go with them.”

  He rubs his bearded chin and licks his lips looking at me like he’s seeing right through me. “You want to leave the club?”

  I glance to Techie and he nods, so I nod.

  Mad Dog flares his nostrils as he breathes in loudly, sitting back up in his chair and places his hands on the table. “You haven’t been servicing the brothers on Steel’s orders, I respected that, he’s my VP. You’ve been out gallivanting with rock stars and slacking on your duties here as a club girl. And you quit at Strapless without consulting me. I respected all that, too. But now… you want to leave my club?”

  “It’s not that I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done for my family and me, but—”

  He raises his hand to silence me, and I close my mouth pulling my lips in by my teeth. “Lunar, as much as I respect having you here, as much as I think you deserve to be here, your heart isn’t in the club anymore, and I don’t want members that don’t want to be here. If you want out, you’re out! But, once you’re out there’s no coming back. You know that, right? We don’t give second chances.”

  I nod with a weak smile. “I know, but as you said, my heart isn’t here anymore.”

  “Your heart is with the rocker?”

  I swallow hard and tilt my head. “I don’t know if I would go that far, but I definitely don’t think my heart is with the Savage’s anymore.”

  “Because Steel is over you?”

  I half laugh. “I’m over him, too.”

  Mad Dog laughs and nods. “I can see that. Okay… you’re free to go. When are you leaving?”

  “Just like that?”

  He chuckles. “Yeah, sweetheart. You were an awesome club girl, you kept my boy happy while you two were… whatever you were. You deserve to find whatever it is you’re looking for.”

  Techie smirks and wraps his arm around my shoulders pulling me to him. “Okay, well, I have my stuff packed. I might as well leave today then.”

  “Do you want a farewell party?” Mad Dog asks.

  “Fuck yeah!” Techie chimes.

  “Fuck no! I don’t want a sendoff, I’m just going to go. The guys won’t miss me. I’ll just say goodbye to Skye and go without any fuss.”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “I do.”

  “Right, be good, have fun with your charity shit and look after yourself. Keep in touch and if you need us we’re always here for you,” Mad Dog conveys.

  I nod with a genuine smile. “Thanks, Prez.”

  “Now… get out,” he yells.

  I smirk as Techie pulls me with him and we walk out of the assembly room.

  The door closes behind us with a thud, and I glance up at Techie and he smiles. “Wasn’t so bad.”

  “Wasn’t bad at all. Now I just have to find Skye.”

  Techie nods and looks over to the bean bag sofa where she’s sitting with FIM.

  I sigh. “This part’s gonna suck.”

  “Yeah, saying goodbye to friends is hard. But Lunar you have to do what’s right for you, babe. Skye will be fine without you, I promise.”

  Nodding as I detach myself from Techie, I walk over to Skye who’s laughing at something FIM has said. I’m surprised he isn’t behind the bar to be honest, he must be having a break. She looks up noticing me walking toward her and she smiles.

  “Hey, slut face. Me and FIM were talking about having some lunch, wanna join us?”

  Chewing on my bottom lip, I slump my body. “Umm… actually, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

  FIM stands up shifting her legs off his. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

  I nod at him with a slight smile and reach out grabbing his strong bicep. “FIM… thanks for looking after Skye for me, she’s a great girl and it’s nice to know someone is watching over her.”

  Skye furrows her brows at me as FIM nods. “Sure thing. She’s great, and I’m always going to watch out for her. Don’t worry, Lunar, I’ll have her back.”

  “Good! Okay, now fuck off, I need to talk to my bitch,” I tease. He chuckles with a nod and walks off toward the bar.

  Skye sits up taller on the sofa and frowns, taking in a deep breath as I plonk down next to her. “You’re leaving aren’t you?” she asks.

  “Yeah, I am.”

  She sighs and her eyes begin to water making my chest hurt as my throat tightens in anguish. “Tell me I have a little while before you go? Tell me I have some time with you?”

  I sniff, shaking my head as she winces and a tear falls down her cheek. “Damn it, Lunar. You’re meant to give me time to get used to the idea! I knew you were going to go, but I need time to adjust to the actual leaving bit.”

  I reach out grabbing her hands and hold onto her tightly. “I’m sorry. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own world I didn’t think, and I know I’m leaving you here and things are weird in the club right now. The dynamics are shifting and things are changing, but if anyone can handle change you can. You’re stronger than anyone I know. Hell, no one can take on Jess and win like you can.”

  She laughs and rolls her eyes. “That girl is cray-cray. What with the ping pong balls and what not,” Skye says wiping her tears and I smile. “How long do I have?”

  Wincing, I take a deep breath. “Right now.”

  She groans and shakes her head. “You’re leaving after we finish talking?” she murmurs, her tears falling faster and heavy now which causes mine to start.

  Nodding, my bottom lip trembles and I sigh. “Everything is packed. I don’t need a big farewell party or anything. I think it’s better if I just slip out quietly without any fuss.”

  “But I want to fuss, you deserve a fuss!”

  “Just spending my last moments in this club with you is all t
he fuss I want and need. Honestly, this is how it’s meant to be, Skye. I’m good. I’m going out into the big wide world and I know you will too one day.”

  She leans in wrapping her arms around me tightly, so tightly I can barely breathe, but I like it as I hug her back and we both softly cry. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, you know that right?” she whispers into my hair.

  “I always will be. I’m only a phone call away. Whenever you need me… always.”

  She pulls back and wipes the salty water from her cheeks and smiles. “I really am going to miss you.”

  “Me too.”

  “You’re going to be a rocker’s girlfriend!”

  I chuckle and roll my eyes. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, we’re just—”

  “Fucking?” she quips.

  I giggle and tilt my head. “Well… yeah! But I can see myself with him… as his girlfriend. But fuck we’re both in such a weird headspace that I don’t think that’s on the cards at the moment. Right now, though, we’re just hanging out. We know we like each other and that’s enough for now.”

  “Well, you’re leaving to go on tour with him so he must want you around. That’s got to count for something.”

  “Yeah, I guess it does.”

  “He’s going to fall in love with you just like I have.”

  I screw my face up and giggle. “Ewww… lezzo.”

  She slaps my arm and rolls her eyes. “Hey, I’m trying to be real here.”

  “Sorry. Thank you. And it will be interesting to see where Danger and I end up. I’ll keep you informed.”

  “Yes, you must.”

  Sighing, I look to the clock above the bar and frown. “I said I’d be back at the hotel for lunch.”

  She looks to the clock and slumps her body. “Okay. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, so much. Be good and don’t take any crap.”

  She smiles. “FIM is looking after me. I’m sure I’m going to be well looked after from now on.”

  I nod and stand up.

  She stands too and takes a deep breath wiping some fresh tears away from her cheeks. “Have the best time.”