Addictive (The Houston Defiance MC Series Book 2) Page 2

  I made a mistake.

  I gave in.

  One night, over a year ago, before she took off, I let myself fall to her temptations. I fought it, God knows I tried, but Prinie has a way of unraveling me. She sees me when I’m weak, and she used it against me to get inside.

  I fucked her.

  I lost myself, then I fucked her.

  It wasn’t sweet.

  It wasn’t emotional and tender like Prinie deserves.

  It was carnal.

  Violent.

  I lost control, let my addiction creep in.

  I could have killed her—I’m surprised I didn’t.

  And she wonders why I don’t want to move things along with her.

  It’s simply because I don’t trust myself not to kill her.

  Because if I did, I would never recover.

  People don’t mean anything to me, but Prinie is one of the two people in the whole world who does, with her brother, Zero, coming in a close second.

  It’s impossible for me to show emotion.

  It’s not something I have any experience with.

  But when I hurt one of the people I have formed an attachment to, I find myself feeling.

  Feelings—they are for the weak-minded.

  I don’t like it.

  I want these emotions to fuck right off and leave me the hell alone.

  Hence, tequila.

  Rubbing my aching jaw, I glance down. Mack, my bulldog, is sleeping at my feet. Sighing, I relax slightly. I have trouble finding emotions for people, but for Mack, there’s no doubt in my mind I have some kind of love for the ugly mutt. The dog gets me. Zero bought him for me as a patching-in present.

  Even when I was a prospect, Zero could see I needed something to keep me grounded. Zero wasn’t president then, but he was being groomed. I guess just like I was. Zero and I found a rhythm that worked with our friendship. I’m glad in a way because without Zero’s intervention, I might have gone off the rails completely.

  I joined the club searching for a way to aid in my addiction—seeking the thrill of the kill. Where better to delve into death than a biker club, right? But Zero taught me how to calm my rage. To only feed the addiction when the need called for it. Only on the assholes who were necessary to be disposed of. Otherwise, he told me I’ll get sloppy, and inevitably be caught like when I was sixteen.

  I was lucky to get early parole, seems telling a sob story works sometimes. Some judges tend to be lenient when your backstory is as shitty as mine.

  Zero thought if I had something to go to, something that was mine and mine alone, something I could talk to who would listen without judgment, it might help me, and he was right. Mack might be a dog, a big, fat, lazy, ugly-looking dog, but he’s mine. Plus, he does help. I’m not sure how, but he just does. Calms the storm that rages inside, even if only for a little while.

  Taking another drink from the bottle, my jaw really begins to ache, and the alcohol isn’t cutting it anymore, so I slide the bottle over the bar. I’ve had enough. I need to stop moving my mouth and ice it.

  Zero’s in Prinie’s room talking to her. Fuck only knows what she’s telling him.

  Hell, Zero might come back for round two, and I probably deserve it.

  I rub the side of my face, letting out a long exhale thinking back to an hour ago.

  I threw my hands in the air, stepping right up into Prinie’s personal space. “What did you expect, huh?”

  Prinie glared at me while shoving my chest. “Maybe that you’d changed. Clearly, I was wrong.”

  I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “Why the fuck would you think that? I am who I am. I’m not going to pine over you because you took off for a year, princess. You left. You made that choice, not me.”

  She groaned. “Why do you think I chose to leave, you selfish, arrogant, sadistic, vile piece of shit? What did I ever see in you?”

  Ouch.

  “Feeling’s mutual, sweetheart. You say I’m a vile piece of shit, but you’re the one who couldn’t keep your hands off me.”

  She let out an anger-filled groan as she stomped toward the clubhouse doors. Obviously, she’d had enough of our conversation. She threw her hands up in the air cursing under her breath as I followed behind her.

  Anger swarmed through me like a raging typhoon. “Stupid fucking woman,” I mumbled to myself. I needed to head for my room. I had to rub one out, get some of the sexual frustration out of my system, but Zero stepped in front of us both.

  Prinie went to push past him, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her, and pulled her back to him. “Right, there’s gonna be no more avoidance. Tell me what the fuck’s going on with you two. You’ve both been fucking weird with each other since you got back, Prinie.”

  Shit.

  We were careless.

  Letting our anger with each other overwhelm and take over.

  Dammit! We’d become obvious.

  Now Prinie’s brother, my best friend and president, could be onto us.

  This was bad.

  Very, very bad.

  I avoided eye contact with Zero.

  Prinie scoffed like she didn’t want any part of this conversation.

  “No. You both had plenty of words to say a moment ago, you can’t go silent now, just because it’s me. What the fuck did you do, Wraith?”

  I glared at him. Fuck Prinie, always getting preferential treatment. “Me? You have to assume it’s me, right? That your precious little princess isn’t a screw-up!”

  “Ha! I’m a screw-up? Me? You’re the one who has a problem with screwing things.”

  Zero jerked his head back at her comment.

  Shit!

  “Prinie, shut it,” I warned because she was going to give us away.

  Zero’s cold, hard eyes narrowed in on me. Assessing me, while the wheels in his mind turned.

  “Fuck you, Wraith! You have no right to tell me what to do. You lost that privilege when you walked out on me.”

  My chest squeezed as I glared at Prinie. She practically told Zero what happened between us.

  Fuck!

  Zero’s face turned from tanned to bright red in two point five seconds, the vein in his neck ticked while his nostrils flared. His breathing became heavy as his lip curled into a snarl.

  Oh, shit!

  It was like watching a swirling tornado raging inside of Zero, and he was about to let it loose. His hands raced out latching onto my cut, grabbing handfuls then he shoved me back. My head hit the drywall with a thud causing the outline of stars to form. Zero ground his teeth together, his eyes now a wildfire burning so fiercely there was no way to extinguish the flames.

  Knowing Zero had finally put together that I had been with his sister was everything I didn’t want. It was what I had been trying to hide all this time. It was part of the reason Prinie and I could never be something more because I honored my friendship with her brother so much more. I owed Zero so much.

  I fucked his sister, and now I had ruined our friendship.

  “I’m only going to ask you this once, Wraith. Did. You. Fuck. My. Sister?”

  Prinie sniffled as Zero narrowed his eyes on me.

  My Adam’s apple bobbed up and down when I swallowed hard, then I cracked my neck to the side and replied, “Yes.” The answer was so simple, yet so complicated at the same time.

  Zero let go of my cut with a shove, turned, and ran his fingers through his long hair.

  I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding but stayed where I was.

  Zero was taking this way better than I thought he would. But when he turned back to me, it was so fast, I didn’t see it coming. His clenched fist connected with my jaw before I had a second to register. My head snapped to the side so quickly, I lost my balance falling to my knee. Pain seared through my skull as Zero came back for more.

  Prinie screamed at him as he landed an uppercut under my chin, knocking me onto my ass. I fell back onto the floor, dazing in and out as he kneeled over me, ready to strike again.r />
  Prinie screamed at him, jumping on his back in an attempt to stop him from doing any more damage, but in his rage, he shoved her and she fell back, hitting her head on a barstool.

  Even in my dazed state, anger flared through me that he could possibly hurt her. I found the strength to push him off me, my fist connecting with his eye socket.

  A scream came from Cherry Bomb, Zero’s Old Lady, as Zero and I moved together in an old- fashioned wrestling match. We fell to the floor, trying to punch each other, but all we were doing was rolling around like dickheads.

  Texas, Chains, and Neon all slid in, pulling us apart, but even still, Zero tried to get one last punch in before Neon pulled him back completely.

  We were both uncontrollable.

  Everyone stood back watching as we panted furiously for raging breaths.

  My head was spinning. My jaw aching.

  Zero shrugged out of the grip of Neon, then threw me a glare. “If you hurt her, Wraith, so help me God, I’m going to fucking kill you with my bare hands.”

  Prinie grabbed Zero with tears streaming down her face. “Krew, stop! Wraith didn’t hurt me. That’s not why we’re fighting.”

  “Then you better tell me something because if he so much as laid a fucking finger on you—”

  “Just stop it! Wraith wouldn’t hurt me… not physically anyway.” Her eyes met mine before she grabbed Zero and started leading him away toward the stairs.

  How wrong you are, princess.

  How wrong you are.

  The scraping of a barstool beside me wakes me from my reverie. My head jerks from the almost sleep I had fallen into—a drunken coma more like. Who knows what the damn time is, it’s probably almost morning by now. Fox pulls up a stool beside me as I turn to look at him. It’s taken at least an hour, probably longer, for anyone to come talk to me since my fight with Zero. I guess everyone was too chicken shit to be seen taking my side in all this crap.

  Not that there’s sides, but I get it.

  They have to support their president.

  I fucked up—I know it.

  All the brothers know Prinie’s a no-touch zone.

  She’s off-limits, but I went there, not only as a brother in the club, the best friend of the president, but also the motherfucking vice president.

  I’m unsure what this means for my position here at the club. Zero will probably want me gone, and I’m not sure I blame him. I broke the rules, I pay the price. But if there’s any consolation, I don’t want anything to do with Prinie. This mess I’m in, this is all on her, it’s all her fault. She’s the one with the axe to grind. The one with the fucking issues.

  I’m happy to let her go and just move the fuck on.

  Who am I kidding?

  She’s ingrained in my psyche as much as death is.

  Prinie’s another addiction.

  Telling myself I can be rid of her is horse shit.

  Don’t matter anyway, because Zero’s going to kick me out of the club, then that’ll be that.

  No more Zero.

  No more Prinie.

  I’ll be out on my own where I can wallow in death, drown myself in blood.

  “Your mind is ticking over at warp speed there, VP,” Fox interrupts my head from wandering off again.

  Can’t you let a guy wallow in peace, old man?

  Forcing out a grunt, I reach for the tequila again, but he swipes it first, bringing it to his turned-up lips.

  Damn asshole!

  “You want me to open up to you? Like all the other brothers do…. oh, wise one?”

  Fox swipes his mouth with the back of his hand and shrugs. “I don’t see no one else wanting to come over here and talk to ya. Seems like you made a damned fool of yourself, boy.”

  Snorting, I grab the bottle, throwing the contents back and taking a lot more than I should. This time the burn warms my throat.

  Fox chuckles. “Look, Wraith, you’ve fucked up. You have broken the cardinal rule. Dammit, brother, I see you breaking rules all the fucking time but never the rules of this club. Not for fucking anything. If you had a thing with Prinie, it was for a reason. She’s not a one-time thing for you, no matter how hard you try and fight it.”

  I slam the bottle down on the bar so hard the contents splash out the top. “You’re damn right she’s not a one-time thing. She shouldn’t have even been that.” I swipe my hand through my hair with a frustrated exhale. “Fuck! She… she’s worth more than I can ever give her.”

  Fox reaches out gripping my shoulder. I let him. Somehow his touch is comforting. “You’re right. Prinie means everything… to all of us. So, she deserves only the best. To the rest of the club that’s certainly not the likes of you—” I let out a scoff interrupting him, but then he continues “But, if she let you in, then she’s found something in you that we don’t. Maybe it’s growing up around broken men. Maybe it’s because she’s lived a tormented life. Whatever the reason, she sees you, Wraith...” He takes a deep breath. “Don’t fuck her over because of that.”

  She sees me.

  Which is the scariest fucking thought I’ve ever had in my life.

  What if she sees right through me?

  What if she knows my deepest, darkest truth?

  I don’t know how to keep my urges under control around her.

  Problem is, I am falling for her.

  But she can never find out.

  Because it will surely be the death of us both.

  PRINIE

  I’ve never felt exhaustion like this before in my life. I was so worried about Rayne when she was taken, and I am still decompressing that the guys got her back in one piece. Not to mention my older brother, Zero, went after her and the whole club nearly got blown up in that stupid fucking oil refinery—including Wraith.

  How can a man aggravate me beyond compare, yet I fear for his safety more than my freaking own?

  Asshole.

  I’ve never met anyone who ignites my body the way he does, then douses the flames just as rapidly.

  Wraith’s the most infuriating, astonishingly gorgeous, frustratingly remarkable dickface I’ve ever known.

  His short brown hair is spiked up arrogantly just like him. His whiskey-colored eyes look through you under those long, thick lashes that deceive you into thinking he has kindness in him somewhere.

  He does not.

  He has a barrage of colored tattoos lining from his neck all the way down his arms and across his perfectly chiseled chest. They’re so vibrant, and when they peek out of his shirt, I can’t help but stare at his neck trying to decipher their meaning.

  I’d ask, but I’m too scared he’ll reply with some stupid fucking comment out of those luscious, kissable lips, the ones surrounded by the tiniest bit of facial hair which is not even a day’s growth, but it suits him.

  I guess the shadow look is natural for a wraith.

  Then there’s his toned stomach, those abs that go on for days, all the way down to that perfect ‘V’ that slips into no man’s land. The man has the body of Adonis, but the personality of a fucking—

  “Prinie!” Zero grunts loudly.

  My head snaps back to face my brother, and I clear my throat. “Sorry, what?”

  Zero grits his teeth, the bruise on his eye starting to turn a shade of deep purple. “Have you not been listening to a word I’ve said?”

  “Sorry, it’s been a huge night. Lots of emotions.”

  He exhales, calming himself a little. “You’re telling me. You wanna see this from my point of view? I nearly had my Old Lady taken from me tonight. Then when we finally win that battle, I come back to find out my VP has broken the one rule I thought he, of all men, knew was a definite as far as this club is concerned.”

  “Krew, it was a long time ago. It was consensual. In fact, when I think back, I was probably the one who forced the issue. So don’t blame Wraith. Even though I would love for you to kick his ass again.”

  Zero smirks, but then it falls. “Do you have feelings for him?
”

  “Fuck! That’s not something I want to talk to my brother about.”

  “Shit… you do.” Zero groans.

  My eyes shift to his as they begin to water, but I fight them back. “Wraith and I… we’re complicated.”

  “I’ll fucking say! The man’s eight years older than you, Prinie. Fuck, he’s damaged… his past—”

  “I know. I mean, I don’t know all of it, but I get that it’s bad.”

  “He’s bad… for you. I don’t like this. Wraith might be my best friend, but he’s an ugly man deep down. He has demons, Prinie, demons he needs to satisfy. I’m… fucking scared for you.”

  “Everyone underestimates him, even himself. I see the potential in Wraith. He just… throws everything away when shit gets too fucking hard.”

  The lines on Zero’s face become more prominent. “You telling me, you and Wraith were in a relationship?”

  I snort out a laugh. “Far from it. I just mean, when shit got real between us, he did his best to fuck it all up.”

  “I don’t want to hear the ins and outs, I just need to know if he hurt you… physically, in any way?”

  Wraith thrusts up inside of me, his cock so fucking thick and full I can only just take it. My stomach presses against his door as he fucks me hard from behind, his hand gripping tight on my hip, and his other hand is looped in my hair yanking my head back with force.

  A low growl reverbs out of his chest as his hand on my hip slides down to my clit. He presses, and I moan at the sensation.

  It awakens something in him.

  He speeds up, hitting me at just the right angles. But his hand in my hair moves down to the base of my neck. He thrusts up higher inside me at the same time he shoves my face against the door. My eyes widen as his hand clamps around my neck, and he tightens his fingers.

  My impending climax disappears as his fingers clench around my throat, his fingers digging in, pressing against the front of my neck.

  My eyes widen as I whimper, not out of pleasure but from fear.