Allegiance (The Chicago Defiance MC Series Book 8) Page 23

  Vibe pulls back slowly, his eyes hooded with unmistakable lust, but he doesn’t push. He never does. Because he loves me too much to take any chances with me. “I need to take a shower. It’s been… a long day.”

  I gnaw on my bottom lip but let him go, and he turns toward the adjoining bathroom. “I’m glad you’re not angry. Thought you’d be furious.”

  “Angry? How could I be angry? I don’t know how. I don’t want to know how. Or any of the details. I don’t need to know. All I know is that asshole is dead. And, Vibe, that fact makes me happier than I ever thought possible.”

  He lets out a small laugh, then a sudden look of apprehension crosses his features. “Rowdy… do you… do you think you’d wanna shower with me?”

  Normally, the thought of Vibe seeing my naked body would haunt me. But if I’m going to move forward not only with my life, but my life with my biker, then I need to try for him as well as for me.

  I slowly bob my head.

  Vibe’s eyes light up like I’ve just offered him a million dollars.

  We slowly walk to the bathroom, nerves filtering through me. But if I’m to go all-in with Vibe again, I need to let my demons go, and I have to let Vibe back in. I know this will take time, I know we still have a way to go but being naked with him is the first step.

  And that’s a step I can take.

  We walk in, and he closes the door behind us. A considerate move knowing that I will be naked, and I hate the idea of anyone seeing me that way. Not that anyone would come into our room without knocking, but still, that added layer of comfort is there for me.

  “We can stop this at any time, babe,” he announces.

  I nod and take off my shirt. Somehow Vibe knows not to watch me. That added pressure of his eyes on me right now as I get undressed might cause issues. He takes off the remainder of his clothes and turns on the faucet, sending a plume of steam through the air.

  I take off my jeans but hesitate taking off my panties.

  Vibe turns, and he weakly smiles. “It’s okay if you can’t do this, Rowdy. I’m not going to force you into anything you’re not ready for.”

  It isn’t his words that snap me out of my pity party, it’s hearing him call me Rowdy. The very reason he called me that means something. Rowdy represents ‘fighter.’ It’s to spur me on and remind me of everything I can and will overcome.

  I can and will do this.

  I am a true fighter.

  From the ashes she will rise.

  I grab the waistband of my panties and pull them down to my ankles, then stand tall. Vibe’s eyes don’t leave mine. He doesn’t look at my breasts, and he certainly doesn’t look at my pussy.

  He simply sees me.

  And I love him for it.

  “You’re so beautiful. Inside and out, Rowdy.” He grabs my hand and leads me to the shower alcove. I step in feeling like a goddess. Vibe’s treating me like his queen.

  I don’t feel dirty.

  I don’t feel worthless.

  I feel like maybe I am beautiful.

  Maybe I am the woman I remember being.

  Maybe I never stopped being her.

  I turn around, sliding under the hot stream of water, and the droplets cascade over my skin sending warmth through me. I clench my eyes closed while basking in the joy of the sensation. Vibe joins me, his arms wrapping around my body, and I loop mine around his neck sliding our naked bodies together, and for the first time in a long time, I feel everything.

  I’ve missed him.

  His touch, his smell, his taste.

  I’ve missed everything about him.

  I don’t know what this shower will mean for us, but it’s a step in the right direction. Vibe leans in planting a tender kiss on my forehead. The moment is a softer side of him that I’m fast becoming accustomed to. My eyes slowly turn up to meet his. He’s staring at me with love and adoration, and the sight knocks the wind from me. He adores me, it’s plain to see.

  How we got to this point, I’m not even sure.

  I was a club girl.

  He, a biker.

  We’re not meant to work, but we do, and I’m so grateful for small mercies.

  I slide my hand up and onto his bearded cheek. “I’d be lost without you, Vibe. You’re my world. Thank you for being here. Thank you for what you did for me.”

  “It was as much for you as it was for me.”

  “I get that… but thanks anyway.”

  Leaning forward, I press my lips to his. That surge of electricity pushes through my body, straight between my legs. I’m shocked by the intensity at which it hits my clit. It throbs as his fingers clench into my hips. My fingers grip into his hair pulling him closer, our tongues dancing with each other, after spending too long apart. Vibe’s cautious with me, taking the kiss slowly, trying to be gentle.

  I appreciate it, I do, but with the way my clit aches for him right now, I need more of him. Pulling him with me, I step back against the wall. His cock hardens instantly as it presses into my thigh.

  I know he wants me.

  I know I want this too.

  I’ve wanted him for so long, it’s just my head wasn’t in the game. I’m ready now. I can do this with him. I grab his hand around my hip and slowly edge it between my legs. I need him to touch me, but I know he won’t unless I give him permission.

  He hesitates.

  His kiss breaking from me. “Are you sure?”

  “Please, Vibe… I need to feel you.”

  His face tightens in uncertainty, but he leans back in kissing me at the same time his fingers slide between my legs. Vibe’s finger presses on my clit, and I clench my eyes tight. A wave of pleasure flows through me, and I grip my nails into his shoulders. Negative thoughts threaten to invade, but I push them out focusing only on Vibe, the moment, the here and now, and the emotion he’s brought out in me today. The pleasure is flowing through me right now.

  I need to get lost in the moment.

  So, I let go.

  Let my mind be free to enjoy.

  Vibe’s kiss grows stronger, more intense, and I like it as his finger works my clit. He circles with just the right amount of pressure. It’s not too hard but certainly not so soft I can’t feel anything either. He’s working me up slowly, and I love the feelings overcoming my body. He’s skilled at knowing the right buttons to press.

  I begin to pant into his mouth, the pressure increases with every twirl.

  To be quite honest, I didn’t know whether we could get back to this place. Whether we could find ourselves lost in each other again, but I see no issue right now, and I’m loving every second we’re together.

  My tongue collides with his. The steamy air around us fires with the excitement rolling through us. My hips rock against his hand needing to feel the friction, needing to feel the burn. It’s invigorating. Intoxicating.

  I’m so drawn into Vibe’s spell that I feel the heat quickly engulfing my body. Steam swirls around me making it harder to breathe. My skin bursts into goosebumps as the heat of the water pummels down around us. His lips leave mine, trailing down my neck, giving me a moment to breathe.

  I gasp, my fingers clenching into his back needing him closer. Then I let out a small moan as my head falls back against the tiled wall in delight. Biting my bottom lip, I ride the wave flowing through my body.

  Vibe circles quicker, my breathing faster as a heat engulfs my body. I clench my eyes shut so tight that I see stars. My muscles tighten all over my body as I begin to shudder with the force of the rush building. My nails dig into Vibe’s skin, so much I feel the skin break. I haven’t felt an orgasm this powerful for a fucking long time, and it’s shaking me to my very core. My entire body contracts, my muscles all constricting.

  Vibe flicks my clit again, pressing it in just the right way to send a pulse of pleasure surging through my very soul. I moan heavily as the explosion hits with such force my knees buckle beneath me.

  Vibe grabs me, hauling me up in his arms as my body feels like a
dead weight. I wrap myself around him, holding on for support. Carefully, he leans me against the wall, my eyes foggy and hooded as he pulls back glancing right into them. Nothing but love shines back at me, and it causes tears to begin welling in mine.

  A sudden look of horror crosses his face as his hand comes up caressing my face. “Shit. Hayley…”

  “God, no. No, everything’s fine. In fact, everything’s perfect.” I sniffle trying not to break out into full-blown tears. “You’ve made me feel again. I thought I lost a piece of myself. Something I could never get back.”

  His hard expression softens, and he smiles. “I’ll always help you find your way. We’re not going any further right now. I want to take baby steps with my precious cargo. But Rowdy, knowing I made you feel good… fuck, babe, that’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted for you.”

  I stare into his eyes. This moment has meant more to me than he will ever know. He’s brought me back. Back from a hell I didn’t think I could ever be dragged from. He’s revived me. “I love you,” I tell him.

  Vibe’s hand comes up caressing my cheek. His eyes stare into mine conveying something, but I’m just not sure what. He’s thinking. Hard. Something’s going through his mind, I can tell by the sparkle in his eyes. I think it’s something good. I hope it’s something good.

  He takes a deep breath, his thumb gently stroking my cheek, the motion a tender moment from my man. An energy surges between us, something’s coming, I just don’t know what. His eyes narrow on me intensely, sending butterflies fluttering through my stomach. “Rowdy…”

  “Mm-hmm…”

  Vibe doesn’t hesitate. Doesn’t falter. He looks in my eyes with a fierce determination. “Marry me?”

  I gasp, my hand shooting to my mouth. “What?”

  “I mean it. I want you to marry me.”

  The hot salty water that was pooling in my eyes can’t be held back any longer. It flows down my cheeks while my bottom lip trembles. “But—”

  “No buts. I want you. As you are. Right here. Right now.”

  His words hit me like a sledgehammer to the chest. “Vibe, I’m damaged. Being your Old Lady is one thing—”

  He steps forward trapping me against the wall. The move doesn’t scare me, it only ignites my body further. “Yes, Rowdy, you’re my Old Lady, but I need you to be my wife. Yeah, things have been tough, but I knew you would come back to me. Believe me though, this shower isn’t the reason I’m proposing now, I definitely don’t want you to think that. What I did today at the prison, it freed my mind. It let me move on. This proposal has nothing to do with you and your development today, Rowdy. It’s all mine. I needed to be at a place where I felt I was the right man for you. I feel like I am now. You… are perfect, then, now, and in the future… just as you are.”

  Vibe’s words mean more to me than I could ever have imagined. I’ve dreamed of Vibe proposing for as long as I can remember. From the moment I walked into the club and saw him for the first time, to the first time he asked me to sleep with him, to the moment we realized us sleeping together and spending time with each other was actually more than just a club-girl arrangement.

  We had a connection.

  We have a connection.

  Now, I’m another club girl who’s made it into Old Lady territory and has officially claimed one of these Defiance bikers as her own.

  Vibe’s eyes narrow on me, I realize I’m too busy in my own inner thoughts, and I haven’t answered him. I loop my arms around his neck and stare deeply into his eyes. “I said not long ago when you told me what you did in that prison, I was the happiest I’d ever been.” I smile. “But this… this right here… this is the happiest I will ever be. Tomi ‘Vibe’ Lahti, I can’t imagine not being your wife.”

  He grips me tighter, slamming his lips to mine. I kiss him back as my body comes alive. Elation flows through me, and I can’t believe we’re engaged. Nothing could spoil this good mood I’m in right now.

  Vibe pulls back shaking his head. “Hayley Lahti… yeah, it has a good ring to it.”

  “It really does.”

  “I have your ring in the bedroom.”

  I jerk my head back. “Wait! What?”

  “You think that was a spur-of-the-moment decision?” He chuckles, reaches forward, and turns the faucets off.

  “I kinda thought it was… yeah.”

  “No, Hayley. I’ve thought about this for a long time. Like I said... I wanted to be the best man I could be for you first.”

  “You’re always the best man for me, Vibe, that’s never changed.”

  “C’mon, let’s go see if it fits.” Vibe pulls me with him, and I giggle for the first time in as long as I can remember. Vibe has a way of bringing out the best in me.

  We were having a shower to wash away the stains of the day. Instead, we ended up getting down and dirty, and our relationship got a whole lot more invested.

  I think I’m going to like showers a lot more from now on.

  But right now, I need to get dry and go try on a ring.

  Things are finally starting to look up.

  LILY

  Three Days Later

  My time in the hospital was intense with my lungs getting a lot worse before they got better. The day after the near-drowning, Medic and Foxy were worried about me contracting pneumonia. All the necessary precautions were taken, and I pulled through okay. It was hard to breathe for a while, and it was scary as fuck, but Lift never left my side. He’s been my rock through all of this.

  I’ve never really thought about my death. I guess it’s something you just don’t think about. You would think being an attorney and dealing with criminals, the thought of my demise would have crossed my mind at least once in my life. Guess not. Maybe it’s because I’ve been too busy living my life rather than thinking about its end.

  But when those Warriors were rocking me back and forth getting ready to throw me into the creek, I never felt such intense fear. Knowing my hands were tied behind my back, and I wouldn’t be able to swim for my life, that I would, without a doubt, sink to the bottom of the creek with no one to come after me, was something I only had moments to reconcile with.

  Everything flashed before my eyes.

  Seeing Lift at the coffee cart.

  Him ordering his Americano and the cocky attitude he held.

  His toned body.

  The way we fucked in my kitchen.

  Everything flashed with lightning speed and in full Technicolor before my body slammed into the frigid, murky depths.

  I don’t remember much after that, just a few things—weight on my chest, being carried, the sound of gunfire. They are mere flashes, recollections, pieces of a puzzle I can’t quite put together.

  Lift filled me in about the fact that Vibe found me, pulled me out, and Medic started compressions, but Lift continued. Seems it was a team effort to save me. A team of bikers who at the start had a reason to despise me, yet they all had a part to play in my revival.

  I’m going home from the hospital today, and I’m so glad because it’s Scratch’s funeral, and I want to be there for Lift. Scratch was there protecting us. He fought for us. I want to pay my respects to the biker I hardly got to know, the man who died fighting for me. I’ll carry that guilt for the rest of my life. I know Lift will too. It’s a burden we can shoulder together.

  Lift pulls back the curtain surrounding my bed as I sit on the edge. Foxy’s with him. Her white doctor’s coat making her look ever the professional.

  “You ready to go?” Lift asks.

  “Yeah.” I glance at Foxy. “Thanks… for everything.”

  She waves her hand through the air like it means nothing. “Oh, stop! You’re a part of this club. It’s what we do.”

  Lift grabs my hand. “We’ll see you back at the club, Foxy?”

  Foxy smiles, but it’s weak. She knows why. “Yeah. I’m about to do one last check on a patient and then I’m leaving. As for you, Lily, I need you to take it easy. No strenuous exercise
.” Foxy stares directly at Lift. I hear what she’s saying, I’m assuming Lift does too by the sheepish look on his face.

  “Yes, doctor,” I reply with a smirk.

  She folds her arms over her chest. “Well, then, you’re good to go.”

  “Thanks again,” I tell her.

  “Just watch for signs of your breathing worsening. All the tests are good, which is why we’re letting you go home, but I want you to be aware of pneumonia. If you feel anything at all, you come to me, Medic, or Tiny at the clubhouse. Okay?”

  “Got it!”

  Lift links his fingers with mine tightly. Today holds mixed emotions for me. I get to go home. Home which is a place I never thought I would ever spend time—at a biker clubhouse. Technically, I don’t need to still stay there anymore. I’ve been told the threat of Raphael and his men is no longer an issue. I’m not clear on what that means exactly, and I’m not sure I want to know, but I think I have a pretty strong understanding. Does it bother me? I think it did when I first heard, but then I realized what a world with Raphael Acosta in it would be like. The world is definitely better with that bastard not in it. Of that, I’m one hundred percent certain.

  So, I sucked it up and figured sometimes one life just isn’t worth the oxygen it deprives others of. Sometimes people aren’t worth it. Sometimes, doing one bad deed to rectify another isn’t evil—it’s more about correcting evil. So, that’s how I live with what happened to Raphael. As I said, I don’t know the details, and I don’t want to know them, but I know enough.

  I wasn’t told Raphael is dead, but I know for certain he is.

  And that, believe it or not, sends ease through me that it probably shouldn’t.

  I’ve been around these bikers too long.