The Recoil Rock Series Box Set Read online

  “We’re doing it, Ryan,” she calls out and I chuckle.

  “We are, we’re awesome,” I call back as my hands begin to sweat slightly. They slip on her forearms and our balance topples sending us flying to the side. We collapse onto the mat, legs tangling into each other and we both laugh as she basically falls on me. It seems all the tension from earlier is gone, as we lay on the floor laughing at each other. She unwraps herself from me and lays down next to me as we both look up at the ceiling.

  “Wanna do another one?” I ask, and she looks at me and smirks.

  “That’s the spirit,” she says jumping up and pulling me with her.

  “Okay, so for this one, Ryan, we’ll have you lying on your back. Tillie you stand over Ryan as he braces his knees to his chest. You’ll lay on his feet, they will be placed on your hips, and Ryan you’ll grab Tillie’s arms for extra support. When you feel like you have her weight you will extend your legs almost so Tillie is flying in midair.”

  I take a deep breath, Tillie will be completely over the top of me. One wrong move and she falls right on me.

  “Oh, fun,” Tillie chimes and I purse my lips as I lay on the floor. Tillie gets into position and I grab her arms as she lays down on my feet. Taking a deep breath, I lift up wobbling and shaking. My legs are strong and can hold her, I just don’t want to drop her.

  “You can do this, Ry,” she encourages looking down directly at me. Unlike the first pose, I can see her face perfectly this way, even though she’s a distance away from me, this feels more intimate. She’s looking right at me and smiling.

  It’s distracting, and her beautiful smile is doing something to me. My insides are shaking and I can’t seem to focus on anything as my mind becomes a jumbled mess. I hate her, but something in me in this moment is making everything in me want to drop her, so she lands on me and I can wrap myself around her.

  What the fuck is wrong with me?

  She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth chewing on it and I’m done for. It’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen her do and my knees go weak. She plummets toward me and my body reacts before I can even think about what I’m doing. She falls toward me with a squeal, so I grab her rolling us over, my hand swoops under her head so it doesn’t hit the floor as I spin her and land on top of her. I’m panting hard as I stare into her eyes and she’s looking at me furrowing her brows like she’s wondering what the hell just happened. Her chocolate eyes bore up at me sending sparks through the room in all directions. My heart is racing so fast I feel nauseous as my stomach flips and my pulse races frantically. Electricity is surging between us, sparking off in all directions igniting the room in an inferno of epic proportions as my chest squeezes tight making it harder to breathe.

  This can’t be happening.

  Not now.

  Not with Tillie!

  A lump forms in my throat as she looks at me up through her hooded lashes and I break free from the trance. My heart rate is sky high, my blood pressure must be through the roof as I jump up, leaving her on the floor while I pant rapidly trying to catch my damn breath.

  “Time’s up,” the instructor says bringing me back from my panic.

  As I turn Tillie’s slowly getting up off the floor and she’s avoiding looking at me, and I quietly thank the instructor and turn, walking out of the room. I know we have to share a car ride back to the office, but right now I can’t look at Tillie and need to get away from her as I head for the car. I jump into the driver’s side and wait. Tillie arrives not long after and I start the car without saying a word and head off down the road. The tension in the air is thick. Both our shoulders are tight and squared to the front. There’s no movement as we both attempt to not look at each other, the silence stifling through the car like a blast of frigid air.

  “So… that was fun,” Tillie finally breaks through the stillness, her voice quiet and soft.

  I look at her and manage a smirk. “Yeah… it actually was better than I thought it’d be.”

  “See, you shouldn’t close your mind off to new things. Sometimes something new, even though it’s scary, can be wonderful.”

  “Are we still talking about yoga here, Tillie?”

  She shrugs. “Well, life in general I suppose, and maybe with me too. Look, Ryan, I know me coming in to help out was a big shock, but I’m not really that horrible… am I?”

  I sigh and scratch my forehead. “Horrible no, but you stole my job. It’s something I worked damn hard at, Tillie. Something I was proud of, you know what I mean?”

  “I know and I’m sorry to have taken that from you. But shouldn’t you have the band’s best interests at heart?”

  “What? I do, Tillie! Why would you even say that?” My fingers clench, white-knuckling the steering wheel.

  “Then Ryan, you have to know I do a better job than you, surely?”

  “Ha! Cocky much!”

  This bitch, really!

  “Not cocky, Ryan, not at all. I’ve had training that you haven’t. I know this industry. How to work the media. How to spin things. How to showcase you and the guys. It’s not a competition, Ryan, it’s just the facts… Recoil needs me.”

  With a scoff, I turn the car harshly around the next corner so she slides over into the passenger’s door. She lets out an ‘oomph,’ and I shake my head.

  “This conversation is over!”

  But the war… the war is still on, and I’m going to win.

  Chapter Six

  TILLIE

  ONE WEEK LATER

  Ryan’s been distant and quiet. It’s unsettling, not only because he’s usually so boisterous and loud, but there’s been no practical jokes or any banter at all, so I’m not sure if something big is coming my way or if he truly has given up? Anyway, it’s Wednesday, which means I’m going to be going to yoga with him again today. Hopefully, I can talk to him a little, see where he’s at.

  Walking to the fire escape where I know he’ll be, I move through the door and up the stairs to see him on the roof sitting far too close to the edge looking out over the city skyline. Swallowing hard, I move slowly over toward him quietly, so I don’t startle him, and take a deep breath. He must hear my footsteps as I approach because he turns around to look at me and his sunken eyes rimmed by dark circles takes my breath, but not in a good way. He seems troubled, and I hate this look on him.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  He half-smiles. “Yeah, I’m fine. Guess we have to go?”

  I nod and he stands up, right on the edge of the building making my heart jump into my throat and lodge itself firmly in place there. He grins and jumps down on to safer ground, and I breathe a little easier while he smirks.

  “Geez, you almost looked scared for me there, Tillie,” he says.

  “You were being very dangerous, Ryan. You need to be more sensible than climbing on the edge of a ten story building.”

  He shrugs. “Is life worth living if you’re not on the edge?”

  I let out a bemused laugh. “I prefer safe and solid ground, it’s sturdy, and you know where you’re headed.”

  “Where’s the fun in that?” He turns and starts his walk back toward the fire escape.

  I take a deep breath, shake my head and walk with him, down the stairs and through the office and to the car in silence. I can’t help but notice his cheeky grin like he’s up to something, but I ignore it as we climb in and head down the street toward the gym.

  “Oh, hey, can you grab my sunglasses from the glove compartment for me?” he asks, his smirk growing wider.

  Something’s definitely up with him.

  “Sure,” I say and reach out pulling the handle down and opening the small compartment. As the flap flies down a medium sized rodent scurries out and lands right in my lap. Its fur is a dark gray. Its tail long and pink, and it has beady little eyes staring right at me while its nose twitches frantically from side to side like it’s sniffing me for traces of food.

  Ryan shifts in his seat like he’s waiting for me
to scream, but I look down at the cute little guy and smile moving my fingers to its fur and pet its back. It doesn’t move to bite or attack me, and I know instantly it’s a friendly pet rat. Ryan tried to scare me with a tame rodent, but his plan has one serious flaw—I love animals so this bullshit backfired too. I pick the little guy up and bring him in line with my face, I smile and make kissy noises at him. He’s so cute with his little brown eyes staring at me affectionately.

  “You’re an adorable little guy, aren’t you?” I say in a cutesy voice.

  “You gotta be kidding me!” Ryan murmurs under his breath. “Why does nothing work on you?” He grunts as his nostrils flare in annoyance that I obviously wasn’t scared out of my brains like he was hoping for.

  “You don’t know me at all, Ryan. I’m an animal lover from way back. I had a rat as a pet when I was a child, so a little guy like this isn’t going to scare me. In fact, I think I’ll keep him. He can be my new pet… I might name him Hunter.”

  He looks at me raising his eyebrow. “Hunter’s my last name?”

  “I know. I have to name him after you somehow ‘cause you got him for me, and naming him yoga fart just doesn’t seem quite appropriate.”

  His frown slowly turns up into a tight smile and then he lets out a small chuckle. “You really are something you know that?”

  “I think it’s you who’s something, buying me pets and all. I think, deep down, you actually like me, Ryan Hunter.”

  He scoffs. “Let’s just get this yoga over with, shall we?”

  I smirk cuddling into Hunter my new pet. “Sure. But how long was he in the glove compartment for?”

  Ryan shrugs. “Not long. I was only on the roof top for about five minutes before you came and got me, I put him in there just before that. I can’t believe that didn’t work. I was so sure he would’ve scared the shit out of you.” He shakes his head but keeps his eyes on the road ahead.

  He’ll have to do much better than that, I think to myself as I realize that I’ve beaten Ryan at his mind games yet again. I figured he was up to something. It had been too long since he pulled a stunt, and even though it wasn’t something massive like I thought might have been coming, knowing he hasn’t given up is kind of exciting. Him throwing these curve balls at me—although one was devastating like the notebook and glitter incident—can be a good ego boost when I come out the victor, and so far I’m beating him at this little power play we have going on.

  We pull up at the gym and Ryan grabs Hunter’s cage from the trunk for me to put him in. At least he came prepared. I place Hunter in his cute little cage and we walk, with rat in tow, up to the room for our yoga lesson.

  “Hey Lara,” I say as I walk in and she looks at me, spots Hunter in the cage, and tenses up scrunching her face in obvious disgust.

  “Um… Tillie, we don’t generally include pets in our yoga sessions. Especially rats.”

  I giggle as Ryan smirks.

  “We had an incident in the car and we couldn’t avoid bringing Hunter, the rat. Don’t worry, he won’t get in the way. I promise, Lara. You’re safe. Plus, he’s a friendly rat. He won’t be coming out of his cage.”

  Lara’s body sags in obvious relief. I smirk at Ryan as he grins at me then he walks over to his inappropriate pink yoga mat. His muscles flex and strain while he stretches getting ready for Lara’s first yoga poses of the day. We haven’t really talked since last week, other than the occasional time here or there or anything official to do with the band. But that has only been a fleeting question or comment then he would avoid me or walk off.

  He’s been strange since last week when something changed between us. After I fell he turned us so I wouldn’t fall on him, and he made sure my head didn’t hit the floor. That’s not something someone who hates you does. I see through him. He’s fighting through some sort of dislike for me and I don’t know why.

  Well, I do know why.

  I took his job.

  That doesn’t make me a bad person. Just a qualified one. But I know there’s something there more than just a general unease. His persistence to annoy me makes me think he’s covering for something. Maybe he doesn’t even know what it is. But I feel it. I feel the attraction between us, and I definitely don’t think it’s one sided. That’s why I think he’s been avoiding me. Because what happened here last week wasn’t just a pair of co-workers falling on each other in a yoga class, it was chemistry. It was intense and with his stubbornness and dislike for me, knowing that he felt that feeling too, it made him go into avoidance mode. That’s why he’s been dodging me this last week.

  He’s scared.

  He doesn’t want to admit that maybe there’s an attraction between us. Hell, I’m not even sure I want to admit that.

  Do I think he’s good looking? Yes, of course.

  But do I want a relationship with the guy? I don’t even know the answer to that question.

  He’s moody, he’s a practical joker, and more so he’s stubborn as all hell. But the icing on the cake is that he can’t make his mind up on anything. He’s non-committal, and I don’t think I can deal with someone who can’t commit. Even though Ryan makes my heart flutter and my stomach giddy, I don’t think he’s right for me.

  The clearing of a deep gravelly throat breaks me from my thoughts. “You okay there, sunshine?” Ryan asks as I look up to see him in the Firefly yoga pose. I smirk to myself that he’s actually pulling it off and take a deep centering breath.

  “I’m good but stay like that, I need to stream this,” I tell him pulling out my cell and starting up the live feed. “Week two of the live feeds from the Recovery of Ryan yoga workshops. As you can see Ryan is doing exceptionally well in his Firefly pose…” Just as I say that Ryan grunts, his arms tremble and he collapses onto the ground, his ass slamming onto the mat with a giant thud. His back falls backward onto the mat and he groans out as I tense up hoping he hasn’t broken his wrists underneath all that pressure. Moving my finger to stop the live streaming, all of a sudden he breaks into a bellowing laugh. My shoulders slump and I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. Lara rushes over to him and helps him to sit up as she giggles with him.

  “You okay?” I call out.

  He looks over at me and gives me two thumbs up. “I’m good. Lara told me not to do that, but you know me I never listen. Hope it was entertaining?” he asks and I shake my head.

  “Terrifying more like it,” I reply as he smiles and I watch the comments all coming in about how hilarious Ryan’s incident was.

  He chuckles. “You know me, never know if I’ll make you laugh or scream. I like to keep you on your toes and all that.”

  I roll my eyes and keep streaming as Lara instructs him to do a much more subdued Side Plank pose, the muscles in his arm bulge holding his weight as he keeps himself up on the side and then reaches his other arm up into the sky. I bite down on my bottom lip as I take in all the curves and features of his toned biceps. He’s definitely been working on his arms and I swallow hard as I clench my thighs together to dull the ache that’s forming between them. I stop the live feed as Lara instructs Ryan to end his pose, and I shake my head slightly when his muscles disengage and he sits on the mat cross-legged taking in a few calming breaths.

  I need a few hundred calming breaths.

  Ryan in a wife beater and sweats shouldn’t be doing anything for me, but seeing him here, his arms bulging with a slight sheen of sweat defining each one, definitely has my mind thinking things it absolutely should not.

  “Okay Tillie, you ready to get it on with Ryan?” Lara asks, and I open my eyes wide.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You ready for couples yoga?” she asks.

  Ryan looks at me raising an eyebrow and I clear my throat with a single nod.

  “Ah yeah… sorry. Don’t know where my head’s at today.” I walk over and take a seat in front of Ryan with my knees just touching his. Warmth radiates through my legs at the thought that I’m touching him and I have to try a
nd rein in my mind.

  Get a grip, Tillie!

  “Okay, so this week we’re going back to basics and we’re working on strength. Ryan, I’m going to get you to do a handstand against the wall, then Tillie you will do one right up against Ryan facing him, leaning your body against him, and you’ll both stay up for as long as you can,” Lara suggests and we both furrow our brows.

  “Won’t that mean our faces are like right against each other?” Ryan asks.

  Lara smiles. “Yes, your faces will be facing each other and together. This is a very intimate pose, generally for couples, but I know you two will be fine doing this. You seem great together and comfortable around each other enough to pull it off.”

  I bite down on my bottom lip and swallow hard as Ryan shifts, clearly uncomfortable at the thought of being so close to me. If it’s going to go how I imagine it, I’m going to be fairly close to him.

  “Okay Ryan, up you get,” Lara instructs slapping his shoulder.

  He nods standing up and walks over to the wall.

  “I’ll help you once you’re up, to get yourself back onto the wall properly, and then I’ll help Tillie position herself against you.”

  His whole body is tense as I stand up and he looks at me, his stare harsh, but he takes a deep breath and flips into a handstand. His strength is so masculine, it sends tingles down my spine as his legs flip up into the air. Lara grabs his legs and moves them back against the wall while his hands shimmy along the floorboards into place. His face slowly turning a shade of red.