The Violet Widow? (Shattered Heart #1) Page 4

  “I miss you, Danny,” I whisper as I rotate my finger on my clit.

  The feeling is relieving my anger and hurt, instantly turning me from The Violet Widow into the old me, Mrs. Dyson, wife of Danny Dyson. I am home and I love the way Danny loves me. My back rises from the bed as I circle on my clit making my body heat up in flames of desire. I breathe heavier as the feeling I’ve needed all day starts to hit me. I need to be close to Danny and this is the only way I know how to be. My finger rotates quickly working me up as my other hand holds the photo frame tight to my chest.

  I imagine Danny’s eyes, his bright incandescent amazing blue eyes staring into me as he kisses me strongly. My lips part and then I bite my bottom lip with the pleasure unfolding around me. I look back into his eyes. One green and one blue, instantly I’m turned on and my pleasure is heightened. I rotate quickly on my clit bringing me close to ecstasy. I imagine running my hands through his short brown hair, pulling his lips to mine and staring into his multi-coloured eyes. I moan with the feeling that’s engulfing me. I circle and press harder on my clit working myself into a frenzy. My body shakes and my breathing is rushed and harsh, I haven’t felt this good in so long. My head is starting to cloud with fog as my eyes clench tighter and all I can see is one green and one blue eye staring straight at me. I moan loudly as the heat engulfs my body and I start to shake. My hips move in motion with my hand bringing me closer and closer. The multi-coloured eyes in my vision disappear and flashes of light spark across my closed eyes. I moan loudly while I convulse and it hits me with such force I stop breathing.

  “Oh God, Rock,” I moan loudly as my body erupts. I shake my head from side to side quickly with the pleasure. It hits so hard that my back arches so far off the bed I’m nearly sitting up while I clench the photo frame tightly and explode in an undeniably amazing orgasm. The first big one I’ve had since Danny. I fall back on the bed, gripping for dear life onto the photograph of my husband. I can’t think straight and the fog in my head is clouding my judgment. I lay back on the bed panting, just trying to catch my breath. I know I’m falling into the dark, I can feel it pulling, so I cling onto Danny’s photograph tighter and let myself go toward the darkness.

  I roll over in bed and my eyes open when I feel something shift from my stomach and fall onto the mattress. I rub my eyes and look down to see the photo frame laying face up with Danny staring right at me. I pick up the frame and look into Danny’s eyes. One blue and one green pair of eyes flash into my mind. I gasp when I realise I was thinking about Rock last night when I came. My breathing starts to rush and I feel sick to my stomach.

  “Jesus Danny, I’m so sorry,” I say staring at the photo of us. I lean in and kiss his picture and bring it back to my chest.

  How could I be so stupid?

  I was doing that to feel closer to my husband on the anniversary of his death. How much of a fucking slut am I to be thinking of a man I met for thirty minutes in a bar, instead of my husband? The man that I cherish above everything else. I shake my head while I get angry with myself. No, not angry… fucking furious. I smack my forehead as my breathing increases. I feel overly emotional and if I could, I’d be crying right now. I betrayed Danny! I basically cheated on him. I’m a horrible wife. I clench my hands in the sheets and hold on as tight as I can. The anger building in me is making me want to scream. So I do. I yell as loud as I can. I don’t care about the neighbours, they’re probably at work anyway. I scream until I run out of breath and then I do it all over again. I’m breathing so fast I feel like I’m hyperventilating. My brows are so creased together, I’m sure I look like I have a monobrow.

  “Fuck,” I blurt out finally feeling like the fog is lifting and the pains of my hangover are taking over. I look over at the bedside table and exhale loudly when I see my tea from last night is still there. I forgot to drink it in my slutty whore haze that was last night. I can’t believe I fucked myself thinking about someone other than Danny. That doesn’t sit well with me, especially because it was the anniversary of his death. It was just wrong and now I’m going to have to live with that regret for the rest of my miserable intolerable life. I sniff and unclench my fists from the sheets. My breathing is slowing and I close my eyes tight to try and bring back a sense of calm. I hate myself right now and when I hate myself, it generally means I hate everyone around me as well. I feel for my employees today. I glance over at the clock and note that it’s already passed one p.m. I exhale abruptly and take Danny’s photograph in one hand and pull the sheets back with my other. I stand up and walk the photograph back to the dresser, place it down and run my finger along his face again. I swallow hard and lean in and kiss him. I sigh and move to take a really hot shower, to scorch my sins away.

  I arrive at work in my red Corvette Stingray. I fucking love my car! Yeah, I know it’s probably too much power for a small woman like me, but I’m tougher than most people give me credit for and a bit of horsepower doesn’t scare me in the slightest. I park my car and get out taking my briefcase and handbag with me. I walk into the double story building and see Angel sitting at her desk as usual. I call her Angel because that’s what she is, my guardian angel. Without her, my business wouldn’t run as smoothly as it does. She’s the best receptionist I’ve ever had and she makes sure all the client engagements run to time. She does all the bookings and all the housekeeping and I would be lost without her, hence calling her my Angel. I have no idea what her real name is. Obviously I’ve heard it, but I have this thing where I give nicknames to everyone because it’s easier to remember and also because I don’t like to get too attached to people. I don’t care to learn their real names. Everyone knows that’s how I roll and everyone seems to be fine with it. Even our clients tend to call my employees by their nicknames, it’s just something we do. But me – well, I’m just Boss to everyone or The Violet Widow, but just like Rock said last night that’s really annoying to say, so Boss it is normally.

  “Morning Boss,” Angel says cheerily.

  “Morning Angel, how are we looking today?” I ask.

  “Good, Boss. Chief Justice Ronald Jamerson made another appointment with Rosie today, he always likes to have extra-long sessions with her. I know he likes to talk bullcrap for most of it. Rosie hates him, though. He’s a slimy old bastard, he even creeps me out,” Angel says and I half-smile.

  “Poor, Rosie Cheeks, he’s a sucker for innocent-looking blondes. I’m sure he only stays with us because she’s such a good listener, and he is such an old pervert,” I say while I pick up the envelopes from her desk and continue down the corridor to my office. I hear Angel giggling to herself.

  I close the door behind me and walk into my office. It’s a big room with a great view overlooking the beach. We’re right on the Esplanade and the relaxing atmosphere of the surroundings is what I think brings in most of our clientele. We have a deck overlooking the beach. It’s fenced off so no one can see in, but we like to take our clients out there and wine and dine them after their meetings. It’s our way of saying thank you for their business. It’s so peaceful and there’s even an infinity swimming pool on the side of the deck where a lot of the clients like to sit and have a quiet drink after their long hard days.

  My business plan is simple… keep the clients happy. If they’re happy and get whatever they need, then the cash will keep rolling in. And I have become accustomed to my new rich lifestyle. It took me five years to get to where I am today, Boss and owner, but I got there with a lot of hard work and endless hours, sometimes working seven days a week and fifteen hour days. That was the hardest, but within a year I had enough money to start my own business. Through working, I’ve met some wonderful people and when they found out I was making a go of it myself they all jumped on board without me even having to ask really. It’s nice to know that people support you.

  I open the window to let the sea breeze waft in. It always calms me and I need calming today. My stomach is in knots and I feel like I constantly want to hurl. I skipped breakfast and
only stopped to get my mid-afternoon coffee on the way to work. I have nothing in my stomach to chuck up, which is lucky for me. I feel terrible for what I did to Danny last night. I can’t get it out of my mind, and the fact that I need to promote someone today is making me uneasy. I know Sheila and Star are both looking for a promotion and I have no idea who to choose.

  Sheila doesn’t take shit from anyone but gets the job done every time with very satisfied clients. Whereas Star is quieter, but she’s sensible and keeps a level head. She knows how to play the game with risky clients and she always ends up on top. Both women deserve it, I just don’t know how to choose one over the other. They’re the best of friends until you put them against each other then it can be an all-out war, and an argument is something I don’t want right now. I might have to chat with Angel and Rosie about it, see who they think would be better suited as the head of public relations.

  I might even get Papi Chulo to weigh in on the decision as well. Papi loves his name. I think it is fitting. It means the mac daddy or the pimp papa. It suits him because he thinks he is the shit, and even though his parents are Australian, and he was born here, his grandparents are Puerto Rican so he thinks he can talk like one and act like he’s from South America. The female clients love him. They think his accent is amazing and they all swoon over him. We all find it hilarious when they leave and he drops the accent and talks like an Aussie again. I probably shouldn’t let him lie to our clients like that, but it brings in more business and it makes Papi happy so who am I to deny him his happiness.

  I sit down on my white desk chair and place my heeled feet up on my desk. I’m the Boss, I’m allowed to do shit like that. I throw my briefcase on the desk and lean back closing my eyes and relishing in the gentle breeze moving softly across my skin. It’s always hot here in November and even though we’re on the beach, the weather is still a pain in the arse. I have to make sure the air conditioning is always working in every room of the building. The last thing I want is sweaty businessmen stinking up my halls. No one likes stinky sweat. I take a deep calming breath smelling the salt in the air and the crisp smell of ocean water. I love my office. It always makes me see things a little clearer. I pull my legs down from my desk and open my briefcase putting all the new client files on my desk to type into the system. I wake up my computer screen and go to open the program when I hear a knock on my door.

  “Come in,” I say and the door creaks open slightly and Rosie pokes her head in. I look up and smile while waving for her to come in. She smiles her bright, beautiful smile and walks in closing the door behind her.

  “Morning Boss, I just wanted to pop in to say hello before I head out on the job. Is there anything you need me to do today?” she asks in her high-pitched, sweet little voice. She is so innocent it drives me crazy, but the clients love her. Let’s be honest, she can sometimes be a bit of a ditz, but I love her anyway.

  “Afternoon Rosie,” I say and she giggles.

  “Oh right, I always lose track of time,”

  “Where you headed?” I ask and she frowns and her lip curls up.

  “To the Chief Justice, he couldn’t make it here today so I have to meet him in the field. He’s such a sleazeball. I hate the way he looks at me like I’m a play toy. I’m not you know, I’m a woman with real feelings, even if those are feelings of utter creepery when I’m around him,” she says and I sigh and tap my desk for her to come over and sit down.

  “Rosie Cheeks, I know he’s a waste of space and if you want me to cut our ties with him, I will. You know that if he makes an advance on you that you’re not happy with I can stop his contract with us at any time. If you want to pull out of the deal, then tell me sweetheart and I will send Star instead or pull him altogether—”

  “No way, Boss. I’m in this. I can handle his creepery. His business makes so much for the team, I can’t pull out now. Plus, I like the gifts he buys me. Check out this baby,” she says shoving her hand in my face to show me the massive diamond ring on her middle finger. I chuckle and shake my head.

  “You really shouldn’t accept gifts from clients you know?” I question and she pouts in her cute little way.

  “I know but look at it, it’s so freakin’ big and shiny! Oh, and watch this!” she says moving her ring into the sunlight and it sends shards of light all around the room.

  “It’s a freakin’ disco ball,” she exclaims making me laugh hard. “Oh, and whenever he pisses me off, I can just hold up my middle finger to him and show him the ring he bought me. It’s a way of saying fuck you and thank you at the same time,” she says with a little giggle.

  I shake my head at her. I love her to bits and she gets away with everything. If any of my other employees put their middle finger up at him, he would terminate the contract immediately. But Rosie, well she’s got him wrapped around her middle finger, pun intended.

  “Okay, but if he gets too full on let me know. You know my employee’s happiness is my main priority,” I say and she smiles and nods shining her ring up to the light while she looks at the disco effect it’s having on my room.

  “Hey, while you’re here, can I get your opinion on something?” I ask and she looks at me raising an eyebrow.

  “Why do you want an onion from me?” she asks, making me half-laugh.

  “No Rosie, your opinion. Like your thoughts on the situation,” I say dumbing it down for her.

  “Oh right, sure,” she says flicking her bleach blonde curls over her shoulder.

  “Star or Sheila. Who would you chose to take over the position of customer relations?” I ask and she purses her lips together and pouts, tilting her head like she is thinking.

  “Honestly?” she asks and I nod. “Why don’t you put them both in charge, have them run it together. That might stop the bitch fight that will inevitably happen if you choose one over the other,” she says actually making sense for once. Sometimes, I think the peroxide actually leaves her body because she is saying something quite smart.

  “See, and Sheila said you were as deep as a paddling pool. Look at you proving her wrong,” I say and she laughs and then furrows her brows.

  “Wait! What does that mean? As deep as a paddling pool? Is that one of those allergies or something?”

  “You mean, analogy?”

  “Yeah, an allergy,” she says and I shake my head at her in disbelief. God, I love this girl, she has made my bad mood all but disappear.

  “Yeah sweetheart, don’t worry about it. Just know that you’ve made my decision very easy, so thank you for helping me. I knew I could count on you to brighten my day.”

  She smiles brightly like she’s proud of herself. There’s another knock on the door and Rosie Cheeks stands up and walks over and opens it. Sheila, Star and Papi are all there with giant smiles on their faces. Rosie looks back at me and smiles.

  “Thanks, Rosie,” I say as she walks past the three musketeers.

  “Anytime, Boss,” she replies and the three walk in and close the door behind them.

  “Morning, Boss,” Papi says.

  “Why does everyone think it’s morning? It’s three in the frickin’ afternoon?” I reply and he shrugs as Sheila and Star laugh at him.

  “Sooo Boss, have you made your decision yet?” Sheila asks getting straight to the point as always.

  “About what?” I ask deciding to string them along for a little while longer.

  “Well, um… about the Public Relations Manager role,” Star says quietly.

  “No, I thought I might put Cougar up for it. What do you think?” I joke and they all open their eyes wide and their mouths drop open.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” Sheila asks in her usual hoity toity manner.

  “Seriously? Cougar? Wow,” Papi exclaims and Star stands back and says nothing while Sheila and Papi start blabbering on in unison about how she’s only been here for six months and she doesn’t even have a basic clientele list yet. How could she possibly be the right person for the job?

  “T
his is fucked, Boss. You know Cougar isn’t the right woman for the job. You need someone with skills. Someone who knows their shit—”

  “Someone like you, Sheila?” I ask harshly making her stop and furrow her brows.

  “Well… yeah, someone exactly like me,” she says standing up straight and crossing her arms over her chest. I keep a stern face like I’m angry with her.

  “Sheila, why do you think you got that name, huh?” I ask and the other two look at her with their eyes wide. She shrugs and shifts her weight to her other leg.

  “Because you’re foul-mouthed and you take shit from no-one. The way you talk, Sheila, it’s fine around the employees, but it’s not fine around the clients. You’re bad tempered and you act like everything is against you. You’re tough, I like that, but if you want to step up into a role of such high standing then you need to clean up your act a little,” I say and she swallows hard and nods her head.

  “And Star, what about you? Do you want the position as well?” I ask and she bites her bottom lip and looks at Sheila.

  “Don’t look at her because she scares you. I need to pick the right person and Star if you want to be in the running you have to tell me,” I state and she looks at me and nods.

  Sheila scoffs and folds her arms across her chest tighter while Papi looks at me raising his eyebrow, obviously wondering what the hell is going on and how I’ll decide between the two.