The Recoil Rock Series Box Set Read online

  He grins again. “You think so? I still have it then?”

  Turning in his grip to face him, I wrap my arms around his neck and nod. “Yeah, you still got it. I was practically dry humping the merch table while you were singing.”

  He laughs shaking his head. “Fucking hell, you’re something special. I don’t know any women like you.”

  Tilting my head, I smirk. “Well, that’s a good thing, right?”

  He nods, leaning his forehead against mine. “Fucking yeah.” He presses his lips to mine and my tongue moves with his, the cool metal of his tongue ring gliding against the surface of my tongue which sends a shiver down my spine. I love the way he kisses, my body grinds against his as someone clears their throat next to us and I giggle into Danger’s mouth, pulling back. Turning, I see Techie grinning and raising his eyebrow.

  “Oh… what? That turn you on?” I ask making Danger chuckle.

  Techie nods rearranging his cock through his jeans. “It did… threesome?” he asks.

  I scoff and slap his chest as he jolts away from me with a chuckle.

  “Shut up, cock stain, I’m not sharing. Plus, as much as you like to take it up the arse, I don’t think Danger’s into men.”

  Techie opens his eyes wide and laughs. “Careful now, I know we’re friends, but you’re still part of the club and club girls shouldn’t talk to brothers like that.”

  Rolling my eyes, I shake my head as Danger stiffens beside me—he doesn’t know we’re fucking around. “Oh fuck off! You know I’m not your typical club girl, and I don’t talk to the brother’s like this but I’ll talk to you however the fuck I want, you little pussy,” I reply and Techie chuckles.

  “You can talk about little pussy, can’t you Little-Miss-Tight-Pussy-Award of… wait! What year did you win that again?”

  Danger furrows his brows and stiffens even more beside me as I clear my throat. “You’re a cock, and there’s no such thing as a tight pussy award, but there is such a thing as a giant asshole award, and it comes with a giant fist up your ass if you don’t shut the hell up,” I tease.

  He raises his hands in the air with a laugh. “Okay, okay, fun banter time is over. Lookout is the only one who likes ass fisting in the club. But seriously, Danger… Lunar is a wild card, her mouth is vulgar, she’s a nasty little girl.”

  “Okay, fuck off! I’m sick of you now.” I laugh.

  He grins at me grabbing a beer and leans in kissing my cheek. I slap at his face then he walks off to go and stand with Luke.

  Taking a deep breath, I shake my head and giggle at the banter between Techie and I, some people would think we were really having a go at each other, but that’s how we always talk, stirring each other up. It’s out of love, not disrespect. We’re good friends and that was just a bit of play for us.

  “So… what was that?” Danger asks and I face him and raise an eyebrow.

  “Huh?” I murmur as I grab two beers from the barman and we walk off toward the green room area where the band can relax after their gig. I’m sure Matt, Nate, and Ryan are there now.

  “What was that with Techie? Was he really being that rude to you?”

  I scoff and shake my head. “No, that was us being silly. We’re always like that.”

  “And you let him talk about your pussy and about your sexuality… and stuff like that?” The tension rippling off him is evident in his tight muscles and clenched jaw.

  We make it to the back room and I shake my head. “Danger, he wasn’t being mean. That’s just the dynamic of him and me. I’m feisty and he talks to me like that. That’s how it’s been for years.”

  “And you’re okay with that?”

  Jolting back in confusion, I shake my head slightly. “Why wouldn’t I be? It’s all I know.”

  Danger runs his free hand through his hair. “I’m glad you’re spending more time away from them,” he murmurs.

  My mouth opens slightly as one eyebrow lifts. “Why?”

  “Because you’re better than what I just saw, Lunar. You’re worth more than that.” He steps away from me and walks over to the two seater couch and sits down. I notice Ryan and Matt looking at us from the other side of the room, but I ignore them and walk over in front of Danger.

  “Am I though? I’m a club girl, Danger… that roughly translates to whore. I’m a stripper at a bikers club, and I’ve spent the last four and a half years living with big burly club men. I’m bound to be a little… worthless.”

  He stands up and runs his hand through his hair shaking his head. “Do you hear yourself right now? You’re so full of confidence it oozes out of you in gallons and yet deep inside, right at the core of you, you feel like you’re worthless. Jesus Lunar, you don’t even know how amazing you are and you just let these bikers talk to you like you’re a piece of meat they can pound into and fuck every which way they want. I mean, fuck! Techie’s a great guy and I love that he’s helping us, but fuck me if I didn’t want to smash his face in for the way he was talking to you. And you just took it. You gave it back sure, but I can see that you think this is all you are… tits, ass, and a fucking hot body. Lunar, that’s not all there is to you. Think of tonight, all the merch you sold. You did that without your tits out, with all your clothes on, and without being overly sexual. Hell, you sold our shit to women, so that tells me you’re good at other things than just selling your body to the next guy who wants it.”

  “Fuck you! You think you know me, what I’ve been through? This body is all I have,” I yell.

  He shakes his head and scoffs. “Bullshit! You have a brain, a really smart brain, and you could put it to good use if you wanted to.”

  “You don’t know me, you don’t understand who I am!”

  He grabs my arms and pulls me to him. “I understand you perfectly, Lunar. You’ve been this way for the last four and a half years… from your teens into adulthood. The bikers taught you how to be this way. But you’re so much smarter than they allow you to be.”

  “I’m not smart, though.”

  “You are! You thought up all the merch. You sold it all on your own. That was you, all you. No one can take that from you.”

  Shaking my head as tears prick my eyes, I chew on my bottom lip. For so long all I’ve felt I’ve ever been good at is sex, and being sexual for men. My body is all I have. My brain is a tool I never thought about. I don’t know how to do this. It’s too hard.

  “No, you’re wrong. I can’t be smart and sexy. There’s no such thing as both.”

  He brings his hand up to my face and caresses my cheek. “Then be smart, Annalise.”

  Hearing my name sends a shockwave through me. I think back to the girl I was before the club. The girl who was that—just a girl—she wasn’t sexual, she wasn’t corrupted by men, she was innocent until the bikers came along. My eyes flood with tears, and it’s all a bit too much to handle right now as Danger looks into my eyes sympathetically in understanding. His deep, dark eyes caressing my soul and I can’t take it. I can’t take that he’s right. I can’t take that the place I thought was my home, my safe haven for the last four and a half years is actually the place I want to run far away from right now. But it’s the place I’m going to run right to. I shake my head and swallow hard. Leaning into Danger’s hand I take in his calmness, and then turn and race out of the green room in search of Techie to get me the hell out of here.

  I need to go and think.

  Think about my life.

  I need to do it away from Danger and his mesmerizing eyes.

  DANGER

  Lunar turns and bolts out of the green room, tears flooding down her cheeks and my instinct kicks in to run after her. My feet take two steps but then I stop, as my chest heaves and I let her go. She needs a moment to process. I’ve said a lot of things that would have hit home for her. I just hope I haven’t fucked things up completely because she’s amazing. She’s everything I said and more, and I’m not ready for our friendship to be over just yet.

  Was that a fight?
>
  I’m not sure, but I know I need to give her space.

  Some time to figure out what she needs and wants from her life. But after seeing the way she is with the bikers, I don’t know how she can stand to be in that life. Sure she’s grown up with it. But still, there’s being a doormat and being respected. Even though she and Techie are friends, and I’m sure it was all in good fun, it felt totally disrespectful to me and I hated every second of that conversation.

  “So, ah… that was intense?” Ryan states coming over and slapping my shoulder. “You okay?”

  Turning to face him, I nod. “Yeah, just… fuck! I don’t know, man.”

  He frowns and exhales. “Look, I don’t want to be the bad guy here, but you and Lunar are getting close and quick. Do you think maybe you’re latching on to something because you’re missing someone else?”

  My stomach twists and lurches at that thought. I haven’t given one minute of thought regarding Ella for a couple of days because all my thoughts have been about Lunar. She’s a distraction, but when I think of Ella I still get all twisted up. So yes, I’m not over her but I want to be, and surely focusing on someone else isn’t a bad thing.

  “I know you’re worried, but this thing with Lunar isn’t serious. Hell, she’s an Aussie. After we’re done here we’ll be going back home, so there’s no chance of a long term thing anyway. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get in deep. What happened with Ella… that won’t happen again… ever. I’m not putting myself out like that again.”

  Ryan nods. “Okay. I’m just worried about you. I saw how you got swept up last time, I just don’t want to lose you again.”

  I smile and lean forward pulling him in for a hug and slap his back hard as he hugs me back. “Hey, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere again. We’re best friends for life, Ry. I’m not abandoning you or the band… not for anything. We’re together, and in this, this time. We’re gonna make it.” I pull back, and he exhales.

  “Fucking hope so! Because I mean it, Danger, if you break the band up again there’s no second chances.”

  I wince. “Totally understandable. But I’m not fucking this up, not for a girl, not again.”

  Chapter Eleven

  After waking up from a restless sleep, I’ve been pottering around doing nothing really other than checking my fucking cell very few minutes, but still nothing. I keep staring at it wondering whether I should text Lunar to see if she’s okay or not. But every time I type something in, I quickly delete it. I figure I’ll give her the time she needs. I walk over to the sofa Lunar and I shared when we had our lunch together and decide to try and get some lyrics down to waste the day away.

  The harsh daylight of the sun slowly fades and drifts into night and I’m really feeling it. Ryan called and said he wants me to go out with the guys for dinner, but I’ve been in the zone all day and I’m feeling down about not hearing from Lunar, so I said no, preferring to stay in and keep writing.

  The urge to continually check my cell is almost annoying as I spend the night writing depressing lyrics, and then eventually head to bed lying awake for most of the night.

  A FEW DAYS LATER

  The obsession with checking my cell has become ridiculous, but even though I check it relentlessly, still nothing has come through from Lunar. She hasn’t been at our shows and I’m now resigning myself to the fact that maybe I royally screwed up. I didn’t want a relationship with her, but I liked her, and it wasn’t my intention to hurt her, which I obviously have done. I feel like a prick, and even though I don’t want to admit it… I miss her.

  We’re at another gig. This one’s at a bigger venue and the crowd is much livelier. I’m loving the thrill of the music, the energy of the room, but without Lunar here it feels like a part of us is missing. Which seems strange to me. The performance ends and I thank the crowd, they cheer and celebrate a great set and I jog off stage with a little less enthusiasm than normal. I’m flat. And I hate it. It’s worse when Techie’s here standing at the bar, I know he’s seen Lunar and it makes me want to go to him and ask how she’s doing, if she’s okay… but I don’t want to seem like I’m snooping.

  Techie walks over obviously sensing me looking at him and slaps my shoulder. “So, Lunar told me to spy on you and see how you’re doing.”

  Raising my eyebrow, I jolt my head back in shock. “What? She did?”

  “Yeah, I was hoping you’d ask about her. She would have liked that. But I had to bring her up, so no points to you there, Danger.”

  Slumping my shoulders, I wince. “Shit! Fuck! I didn’t bring her up because I didn’t want her to think I was snooping on her. But fuck, man, I want to know how she is. Is she okay?”

  He tilts his head and purses his lips. “She’s… different… wearing different clothes and stuff. Something’s happening to her, not sure what it is, though. And she certainly isn’t giving herself to any of the brothers, which technically she should be now she isn’t Steel’s girl. Mad Dog could throw her out for that.”

  “Mad Dog?” I ask.

  “The President, he’s… interesting, but he’s also Steel’s old man. Something has shifted in Lunar, she’s been quieter, and it’s like she’s reflecting on something. I know you guys had a fight, I’m not entirely sure what about, but it was enough to shake her.”

  Looking down to the ground, I flare my nostrils. “Can you tell her I’m thinking of her? I want to message her, but I’m giving her the space she needs. I’ve never been good with women, so I’m not sure if leaving her be was the right call now. I just want her to be okay and in a good place.”

  He nods and half smiles. “It’s cool you care about her. Lunar’s a good chick, she deserves to be happy and I think she’s finally seeing that now.”

  “Should I message her?”

  He shakes his head. “No, I’ll go back and tell her we talked. Let her come to you. She scares easily, so if she needs time let her have it. But if she likes you, she’ll be back, and by the way she wanted me to check on you tonight I’m sure she will be.”

  Nodding, I swallow hard and exhale. “Thanks! This is… all new to me. I’m used to being chased and hounded, not the one who’s having to wait.”

  He smiles. “Well, Lunar is worth waiting for.”

  I nod as he slaps my shoulder and walks off, leaving me at the side of the stage to ponder on those thoughts.

  ***

  We’re back at the hotel and I’m struggling not to message Lunar, but I heed Techie’s advice. I don’t want to scare her off, so I leave it even though it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow and I really want to see her. I make my way to bed and try to catch up on some sleep I’ve been missing, but I doubt it will come easily tonight either.

  ***

  I’m lost in a world where the music is somber, the notes drift through the air in dull grays and blacks. The smoke wafts through the sky making everything hard to see and I feel like I can’t breathe. A heavy, steady beat bangs in the distance and it startles me. The fog turns darker and everything fades into an endless black as the banging continues. Suddenly, my eyes flick open as my heart lurches into my throat and I gasp realizing I was asleep and someone’s knocking at my hotel door.

  “Fuck,” I murmur and slide the crisp warm bed covers off me and lazily climb out of bed and slump over to the door to open it. Looking down, I notice I have slight morning wood, but I ignore it thinking it’s probably Ryan behind the door. I pull it open clenching my eyes shut as I let out an almighty yawn. Opening my eyes I look out the door—it’s not Ryan at all, but a gorgeous pink and yellow-haired beauty that I’ve been missing so much. It shocks me and I stumble slightly as I stare at her. She’s wearing less revealing clothes, but she still looks as stunning as ever. She looks down to my cock tenting in my briefs and smirks.

  “Wow! And here’s me thinking you were telling me to stop being sexual. I show up and bam, boner town.”

  Chuckling, I move my hands down to cover my crotch and shake my head. “Sorry, I just woke up, and f
or the record you could wear a sack and still send me to boner town.”

  She smiles and slumps her body. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come and see you.”

  I stand back and gesture for her to come in with my hand. She steps inside and I close the door behind her as we walk into the hotel room. “It’s fine. I was hard on you, I know that. I just want you to see your full potential.”

  She nods and walks over to the sofa and sits down. “I know that… now. At the time I was… I don’t know… shocked, that anyone could see past the hair and tits. But you see me for me, and that scares me a little.”

  Exhaling, I walk over and sit down beside her. “Lunar, I know you think the club has made you into some sort of sexual person and that’s the only person you can be… is all that you know, but you’ve proved that you can use your brain, too with the merch stall. I’m sure that if you really tried hard you could come up with even more ideas. Bigger, brighter ideas that you could work on and put your time into, rather than showing off your skin. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m just saying there’s more to life than what you know.”

  She nods. “I know, and you helped me to see that. Techie said you didn’t ask about me ‘cause you didn’t want me to think you were snooping on me.”

  I wince. “I know, dick move. The first thing I should have asked Techie is how you were. I just didn’t—”

  “Stop… you hardly know me, and yet you know me so well. When Techie said that, it was like everything clicked back into the right space, and I knew you were only trying to do right by me. You weren’t trying to be mean, you were trying to help, and avoiding you was me being silly. So that’s why I’m here… to apologize. I’m sorry for leaving and not talking it through with you.”

  “I shouldn’t have been so blunt. I’m sorry too—”

  “No, you should have been blunt, I needed to hear it. If you’ll have me, I’d like to come back and work on the merch stand?”