Deviance (The Chicago Defiance MC Series Book 3) Read online

  There’s my dominant man.

  I wrap my legs around his ass as he thrusts up inside me. We rock together, his hands tightening on my wrists so tight it hurts, but in a really good way. His kiss is deep, passionate. He’s letting me know how much he’s missed me. How much he needs me. And I’m letting him know right back in the same way.

  Through the kiss, I start to moan, the pressure building inside me. He’s making me feel so damn good. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this fucking good during sex before. He’s hitting every possible pleasure spot there is. Right now it feels like every atom in my body is tingling with adrenaline. I have to breathe. I need to let my moans out. I can’t keep them in, so I break the kiss letting out a deep throaty moan. I know I’m being loud, but honestly, I don’t give a shit. I’ve never felt like this before.

  “Fuck, Konnor, don’t stop,” I almost yell as he rocks back and forth, his moans as loud as mine as we both strive for our climaxes.

  His mouth connects to my neck. He nips and sucks as he fucks me until I’m completely breathless. I gasp for air, my eyes clenching tight while a light show performs behind my lids. A wave of warmth floods over me. I clench my hands, my nails digging into my palms as my muscles tighten, then explode in a storm of epic proportions.

  “Konnor!” I call out as my muscles all contract around him causing him to groan out. He jolts a few times as his face falls into the crook of my shoulder and neck. His teeth clamp down onto my neck as he bites my skin hard enough that it will leave a mark. He thrusts up inside of me so deeply, I gasp as I feel his hot cum explode inside of me.

  His body sags against mine as we both fall together panting and gasping for air. He’s careful not to put all his weight on me, but he lets my wrists go. My hands immediately shift to his back needing to touch him. I rub his back, my fingers sliding up the silkiness of his skin while he lays on top of me as we both continue to ride out our high.

  He takes a couple of deep breaths finally pulling his head up from my neck to look me in the eyes. His are brimming with delight, mine beam with happiness that I haven’t felt in the longest time.

  He brings his hand up as he slides a stray hair from my face, leaning in pressing a chaste kiss on my lips. “I love you... I’ve never stopped.”

  My heart fills with excitement. “I never stopped loving you either.”

  He leans in kissing me, then suddenly pulls back looking into my eyes. “I forgot to put a condom on.”

  I swallow hard. “We’ll need to go to the pharmacy tomorrow morning.”

  A satisfied look crosses his face. “I should’ve known better.”

  I chuckle. “I should’ve, too. But we kinda needed each other.”

  “Yeah, but we have to use condoms from now on.”

  I smile like this is the most normal conversation to have while he’s still inside of me.

  “Yes. So, ah… I’m hoping like hell you have a stash of condoms in here, right?” I ask raising my brow.

  That famous lopsided smirk is back on his face. “Why? You wanna go again?” he coaxes, his cock twitches inside of me.

  I run my fingers up and down his back. “Oh, yes. We have two years to make up for, Konnor. Time we get started.”

  TRAX

  After spending all afternoon inside Mylee fucking her every which way possible, we eventually fell asleep. Having her in my arms again is the best fucking way to wake up. Sure falling asleep was never really the plan, but we wore ourselves out. I had nothing to do today anyway, so spending the time locked in my room with the woman of my dreams, well, what could be better than this right here?

  The anger which had seeped into my bones seems to be ebbing since Mylee’s here with me. Us, together, is having a profound effect on me. She’s the calm I need within myself. She’s the switch that turns off the raging fury in my mind. Maybe, even though she was the trigger to my self-destruction, is it possible she’s now the remedy? Can one person be the cause and the solution? Can she be the single calming force in my life? The one thing I need to push me along on the right track.

  My fingers gently stroke up and down Mylee’s arm as I zone in and out of my semi-wakened state. I’m so relaxed I don’t want to move a muscle as her slow, steady breaths let me know she’s either asleep or extremely relaxed like I am as she cuddles into my chest. The sheets in disarray around us only make me feel whole again as I lay here staring down at her wondering how I got so fucking lucky to have met this bright spark of a woman. Sure, she has a complicated issue in her life, there’s no doubt about that. Bipolar disorder is not something to take lightly. It’s not something to sweep under the rug or be blasé about. But now she’s on her medication, she seems to be doing better, much better than two years ago.

  I saw the signs when she left the chapel. I could see the anger on her face. I knew she was having a moment, and I knew how quickly it could turn from anger to depression. So, instead of being a dick about her being in there with Ace, I knew I had to stop her from having a full-on episode. I had to calm her down using the only way I know. I had to stop the storm from even starting. I’m glad I managed to catch it in time before the downpour began. Once her brain kicked out of gear, and she fell over the edge, there would be no coming back for her.

  I got to her in time.

  That’s the main thing.

  I can’t spend my time worrying about what might have happened had I not. What state she might be in right now if I didn’t calm her down. Sighing, I gently press my lips to her temple as she murmurs slightly as if my movements woke her.

  She slowly looks up at me, her sleepy eyes blinking a few times to gather her bearings. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” she whispers.

  I let out a small chuckle. “I should be the one saying that.”

  She shakes her head, leaning up gently placing a kiss on my lips before cuddling into my chest. She wraps her arm around my torso tighter in a locked embrace. “I wonder what the time is?” she murmurs.

  I was wondering that myself. It’s still daylight, but it’s fading, so it must be getting late in the day. It might even be getting close to sunset. “I don’t know, we’ve been in here for a good few hours.”

  She giggles. “Sooo worth it.”

  My fingers still trailing delicate lines up and down her arm as I take in a deep breath. But a rumble roars through the room. I peer down as she stiffens, then looks up to me placing her hand on her stomach. “Shit.”

  I chuckle smiling at her. “Was that your stomach?” I ask as she purses her lips. “You’re hungry?” I have to admit we’ve been in here through lunch, and I’m pretty sure it’s now dinner time. I’m fucking starving.

  She turns up her nose, running her hand up my chest. “I’m so comfortable, I don’t wanna go anywhere.”

  I snort out a laugh. “Woman, I’m not letting you go hungry. We’ve spent all day in here. We need to fuel ourselves so we can continue fucking into the night.”

  She lets out a loud giggle, slapping my chest playfully as I sit up from the bed. As I jump from the edge, I pull her up with me. She groans but moves as I walk to my clothes to put them on. “C’mon, get dressed ‘cause you’re sure as hell not going out there like that.”

  She pouts, rolling her eyes moving to her clothes, starting to pull them on. “For the record, I would rather stay in here and cuddle.”

  I snort. “For the record… I don’t cuddle. I’m a badass biker. I fuck, I comfort, but I don’t fucking cuddle.”

  She bursts out laughing, shaking her head. “Think what you want, badass… we were just cuddling! But your image is safe with me. I won’t tell.”

  I smirk, giving her a wink. I know I was cuddling and honestly, I don’t care. I’m just messing with you. I wouldn’t be caught dead cuddling with any woman on earth, but with Mylee, I’ll make an exception. She makes the inner protector in me want to come out. Everything in me makes me want to hold her at every chance I have. If I could permanently have her in my arms, I fuckin
g would. Sure, I sound like a pussy, but it is what it is. This woman has me by my balls. She has had for years. I don’t think she even knows the power she holds over me. Now she’s back, and we’re reconnecting, it’s like the animal inside of me has stepped back inside his cage. Like my demons are diminishing and the need, the thirst for blood, for war, doesn’t sit on the threshold watching, waiting to burst through.

  For the past two years I’ve been crazed, a man possessed. Going out of my fucking mind because a part of me was missing—that part of me was Mylee. Right now, the rage isn’t consuming me as deeply. The thirst has been quenched, not by blood, but simply by her. She’s my missing piece. I don’t know what I’m going to have to do to keep her here. I’ve only just gotten her into my bed. I need to find a way to keep her in my life. I have no idea how long she’s going to be staying at Defiance, but I’m going to make it permanent.

  Somehow.

  I finish pulling on my clothes, then turn to see she’s dressed. So I grab her hand edging toward the door as we finally walk out of my room for the first time since this morning. We walk down the hall into the bustling clubroom. As we step in, everyone turns to look at us with bright smiles on their faces as they all begin to cheer. Mylee’s hand tightens in mine as she leans into my side. I glance to her to see her face flush, but she’s trying to hide her smile.

  I turn back to my brothers. “Shut the hell up, fuckers!” I call out, letting go of Mylee’s hand, wrapping my arm around her shoulder pulling her into me.

  Glancing up to look at the television hanging from the ceiling, I see a picture of Miller Willbrook flash across the screen with ‘missing’ in big letters. The sound isn’t on, but I exhale knowing it’s official. The man I lost myself to is now a ghost in the wind. He’ll never be found, and it was all for fucking nothing. I tighten my arm around Mylee’s shoulder. I did it for her, but we still have no leads. The rage may not be consuming me, but in the chamber with Miller, it took hold, it devoured me. It’s where I realized I needed to change.

  For my brothers. For Mylee. For me.

  A sense of regret washes over me as I tighten my grip around Mylee. “C’mon,” I whisper as I lead her over to where Torque’s sitting with Chains and Sensei already eating their dinner. I gesture for her to slide onto the seat. I move in next to her as Mylee is glancing around the room assessing everyone. Mylee looks up at Torque who’s equally assessing her.

  She takes a breath as she clears her throat. “Torque… I’m sorry for being in the chapel.”

  I grip onto her hand for support. Torque puts down his fork and knife to concentrate on this conversation, looking right at her. “Ace gave you permission. I trust him. I trust Trax. They trust you…” he smiles, “… so I’m okay with it. Just don’t take anything you see in there out of there. If you need to help Ace, maybe have him bring his laptops out here so you can work with him on them. Chapel’s kinda sacred… you understand.”

  “I totally get it… club brat, remember?”

  Torque sits back in his chair. “So now you’re telling off is done, and you and Trax seem to be mending fuckin’ fences finally, can we get on to celebrating?”

  I raise my brow. “Celebrating what?”

  “Celebrating the idea of you returning to your old self now your woman’s back, and you guys figuring your damn shit out.”

  Mylee looks to me lovingly, and for all intents and purposes, we have figured our shit out. I finally feel like we might be in a good place.

  TRAX

  Six Weeks Later

  The last month has been fucking perfect. Mylee and I have been in a good place, and everything seems to be running smoothly as I sit with her in the clubrooms eating our lunch peacefully.

  Sensei’s been working with me using the art of Zen to help stream my thoughts and let them pass without becoming physical. He told me suppressing my anger is as bad as letting it out, but that somehow I need to tone it down. Using Mylee as my muse, he’s been able to find a way for me to think differently. Think about her when my demon decides to show it’s ugly fucking face.

  Sensei said that my anger is a cover for the explosive feelings I had toward Mylee leaving, and as such, it manifested as a physical reaction. So, when the demon begins to take hold, Sensei came up with the idea of not allowing the anger to surface. Instead, I envision Mylee’s face and some deep breathing techniques to calm me the fuck down—so far it seems to be working. Hopefully, now things will even out. He’s been supportive and helpful and shit appears to be back on track. It’s funny how the thing that made me angry in the first place is also the one thing that can bring me to true Zen.

  Talk about irony.

  Along with my visualization and breathing techniques, I’m also using boxing to help with the physical side of my demons. It helps get my physical stress relief out, so I’m not bottling up my emotions. I’m dealing with it. Even talking about when Mylee left with Sensei seems to help. A kind of therapy, I suppose. He should think about becoming our wise one if Surge ever wants to give up the role in the club. Sensei’d be good at it.

  Suddenly, I’m broken from my thoughts when Torque strides over with a stern look on his face. He reaches out grabbing me by my shirt and hoists me up.

  “What the fuck?” I blurt out as my sandwich drops from my mouth.

  “Come with me,” he instructs as Mylee chuckles seemingly unfazed by my brother’s obnoxiousness.

  I walk with him toward the chapel and note that Sensei, Surge, and Chains are already in here, and I let out a long huff knowing something’s up. My thoughts immediately go to Mylee, and this Everett douche as Torque shuts the door behind me.

  “Has he found her?” I blurt out, all breathing techniques and Zen out the fucking window. They all look at me furrowing their brows.

  “No, this isn’t about that,” Torque replies cracking his neck. “The Andretti’s are coming in for a meeting.”

  Opening my eyes wide, a breath catches in my throat. “They’re what?”

  “Not to discuss business, but about returning the damn favor we owe them. They’ve helped us a couple of times. Apparently, Enzo has something he needs help with… urgently.”

  Tension rolls through me as I glance at Sensei and Chains. “And you guys are okay with this?”

  Chains shrugs as Sensei exhales. “They helped a great deal with my family, Trax. I feel we owe them… whatever the cost,” Sensei replies.

  I wince. “What if it’s women? We know they deal in trafficking, that’s not our scene, brothers. Honestly, I want nothing to do with that shit.”

  Torque nods. “That’s why it’s a meeting, and I haven’t agreed flat out, but they’ll be here any minute. I just wanted you to know before they arrived that they’re gonna be asking for our help with something, and we should be prepared to give it.”

  Groaning, I nod once as a knock on the door thuds, and Chains opens it to Zane. “Italians are in the clubhouse,” he murmurs.

  Torque exhales. “Best behavior, boys.”

  Chains opens the doors to the chapel, and we all walk out to see the Andrettis filing into our clubrooms. I’ll never get used to seeing them here in their immaculate pinstriped suits and shiny fucking shoes. Those gold chains, though, those things are just crazy. They look like a mixture of corporate business associates and a gangster music video. Fuckers.

  I’ve also noticed that everyone who doesn’t need to be here has vacated. It’s only the patched members and the Andrettis as if it were a church meeting in the chapel, only the Andrettis aren’t allowed in the chapel. We need to keep some things sacred.

  “Torque, thank you for meeting with us at short notice.” Enzo steps up to Torque and shakes his hand, but there’s no humor in his tone or playful banter like normal.

  Something has him rattled.

  “A pleasure as always, Enzo. Let’s have a seat, and we can discuss what’s going on.” Torque gestures for the wooden benches that Foxy always calls the summer camp seats. We sit down like no
rmal, brothers on one side, Mafiosos on the other, and I take a deep breath looking over Enzo’s features. He appears tired. Worn. Defeated.

  This isn’t the Enzo we know.

  Someone’s getting to him.

  “Tell us everything,” I demand.

  Torque looks to me raising his brow in a look of surprise, but seeing Enzo like this has me rattled. I want to know what has this man, who’s normally so full of vigor, so full of vengeance and venom, alarmed.

  He’s shaken.

  Agitated.

  Exposed.

  Enzo exhales placing his hands on the table linking his fingers together in a tight ball. “The thing is, Torque, I know you know about our… darker endeavors.”

  I sit up a little taller as Torque sits forward. “Go on…”

  “Women trafficking isn’t the most…” he pauses but looks straight at Torque like he’s unashamed, “… honorable of transactions. I know this, Torque. I know where you stand on it, too. But you have to understand, and I know you do, that family tradition is of the utmost importance in our kinds of associations.”

  Torque shifts uncomfortably as he glances at me, and I take a deep breath knowing exactly what he’s saying. We followed in our father’s footsteps for most of Defiance’s endeavors, including our war with the Andrettis. He’s saying he’s just doing what his father did, and that includes trafficking women.

  “So you’re saying you don’t want to traffic women, but you do it because of your legacy?” I ask, and Enzo looks to me with a mild smile.

  “You honor Guiness’s name every day in the things you do, Trax. I try to do the same for my father.”

  Torque lets out a long exhale. “We ended our war, that wasn’t in your father’s legacy. You can stop this too, Enzo.”

  He sits back nodding his head, a forlorn look on his face as he rubs his brow.

  He looks defeated.

  I’ve never seen him this way.

  “Enzo?” Torque softly states his name, and Enzo sits back up looking Torque in the eyes.