Defining Darkness (Royal Bastards MC Tampa Chapter Book 1) Page 14

  “Stick with me. I’ll take you on the ride of your life, Chiquita.”

  She pants for breath as my cock throbs so fucking hard I’m worried it might explode if I don’t fuck her right now. So, I lift her thigh, wrapping her leg around me, giving me better access. Lining my cock up with her pussy, I don’t wait for her approval before I slam inside her. My free hand moves to her shoulder, pushing her back against the wall. She gasps out a moan as I still, calming myself down.

  Eva feels so fucking good. If I move right now, I’m going to come. Her eyes meet mine, a moment passes between us, and tightness grips my chest so much it’s hard to breathe. She’s so fucking sexy like this.

  I need to move, so I slide my hand from her shoulder, up to the side of her neck. Her eyes widen as I wrap my fingers around her throat, rubbing up and down in a gentle caress as I thrust up inside of her. She pants for breath as her nails dig into my back, not hard, but more than enough to leave marks.

  My eyes bore into hers as I pull back and thrust up again, moving quickly now as I fuck her, hard.

  She moans in delight, meeting me thrust for thrust. My dirty girl likes it rough.

  Pleasure rolls through me as she wriggles against me, so my hand around her neck squeezes a little harder. Her pussy walls clamp down around my throbbing cock as I slide inside her, deeper, harder, faster. Excitement bubbles inside me that this kind of fucking turns her on. My skin drips in sweat, not only from the heat of the shower but more from our frantic movements.

  Eva clenches her eyes as she pants hard, my lips trailing firm kisses down her jaw. The movement is only making this more stimulating for her.

  I thrust up harder into her, moving my hand between us to her clit. She moans loudly as her body moves up and down against the wall in time with my thrusts.

  The pressure builds inside me. Her muscles clench around my cock as I bite her collarbone. She groans out a gasp of delight.

  I push up, circling my thumb on her clit one last time. My hand around her neck presses just a little bit harder, forcing her air intake to halt. My adrenaline spikes, her eyes clench shut as her muscles spasm, her back arching off the wall. Her body shudders as she moans so fucking loud, I’m sure my brothers can hear it outside. She writhes as she explodes in the most earth-shattering climax I’ve ever had from a woman.

  Eva’s pussy clamps on my cock making me gasp as heat washes over me from head to toe. Having her shatter around me has my balls pulling up immediately. The tingle starting from my toes, working their way up as pins and needles surge through my body. I loosen my grip on her neck, pulling out of her quickly. She whimpers from the loss as I pump my cock once, then unload, exploding my hot cum all over her gorgeous, toned stomach.

  “Fucking Christ,” I groan, moving my hand out onto the wall beside her head, needing something to keep me upright.

  Her hands slide out, caressing up and down my body as I jolt from the aftereffects of my high.

  Letting out a long, drawn-out sigh, I press my forehead against hers, panting for much-needed breaths. Eva’s hands smooth along my back as I move my fingers from my cock up to her face.

  “You’re fucking everything, Eva.”

  “You’re more than I could have ever imagined.”

  Moving my hand gently to her throat, slight red marks tarnish her skin. “Did I hurt you?”

  Eva lets out a small laugh. “Only in all the good ways.”

  “Fuck! I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since I saw you. Well, I’ve wanted to do that, even more.”

  “I was fighting this… this pull I have toward you. If I’d have known what this would have been like, I would have given myself over to you that first night.”

  A deep guttural groan leaves my chest as I smash my lips to hers. I could have been having her all this time, and that thought does my head in. Now she has the Ivy situation dealt with, maybe she can tend to the other itch that needs scratching. The one I just showed her can be so good now that we’ve given in.

  “Let’s get you cleaned up so I get you dirty all over again in the bedroom.”

  Eva grins as I pull her off the wall and under the water stream after adjusting the temperature, letting the liquid wash away my claim on her. She may not know it yet, but me fucking her like this has done more than just awaken the animal inside of me.

  I need Eva to be mine.

  I need to possess her.

  To own her.

  But I have to make sure she’s on board with this before I go throwing the ‘claiming’ word around, and she shoves it right back in my face. Eva needs time to get on the same page as me. I’m not a patient man, but for Eva, I’ve already changed a part of me I didn’t believe could ever be altered.

  I’ve waited all my life for someone like her.

  So, for her, I’ll wait a little longer.

  Chapter Twenty

  EVA

  I have no idea what the time is. I hardly have cognitive function. Nycto fucked me every which way he can, and as I lay in the bed completely spent, his fingers are gently stroking up and down my stomach. Lying on his side, his head is propped up by his hand, and he has a wicked grin on his face.

  “You look tired.”

  My sleepy eyes blink a few times as I exhale in sheer relaxation.

  “I don’t know how you kept going.”

  “Chiquita, I can still keep going.” My eyes widen, and he laughs. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep myself under control for the rest of the night. You need to rest.”

  Bringing my hand up, I swipe his hair away from his eyes. He’s never looked calmer, more at ease than he does right now. It suits him.

  “As much as I want to keep doing this all night, I probably won’t be able to walk tomorrow as it is.”

  He chuckles, flopping back onto the bed. His arms are folded behind his head like he’s the king of the world.

  I slide in, my hand resting on his chest, my head falling into the nook of his neck and shoulder.

  It feels right.

  A safe place.

  Like home.

  His arm falls around me, protectively.

  This is the best feeling in the world—I’ve given into the temptation of Nycto.

  Ivy is here and safe.

  Everything is as it should be.

  “Nycto?” I question. Something’s been plaguing my mind since I arrived here.

  Will he open up to me now?

  “Mmm?”

  I hesitate, I don’t want him to get mad at me, but I figure if there’s a time for me to ask, it’s now. “What’s your name?”

  He exhales loudly like he’s not sure where to go with that question. I don’t want him to do anything he doesn’t want to. “It’s okay, you don’t have to—”

  “Alec…” I pause, my eyes widening in shock. “Alec Ripa.”

  Nycto tightens his grip on me as my eyes well with tears. “Thank you… you don’t know what this means to me, Alec.”

  “You can only call me that when it’s just us. If there’s anyone else around, it has to be Nycto. It’s a respect thing at the club.”

  “I get it. I’ll only use it for emphasis.”

  He grins. “Like when you’re screaming out my name in pleasure?”

  I slap his chest playfully. “Something like that…” I place my head on his chest, glancing up at him. His hand comes out, stroking my cheek as we stare at each other.

  “Can you tell me why the light in here is red?”

  His eyes divert. I’m losing him. I’m pushing too much, too soon. “I get it… that you don’t like the light. Sometimes it feels like the light is too much for me. Too overwhelming.”

  Nycto’s eyes shine back at me in understanding, like maybe I’ve hit the nail on the head. I just want to understand him.

  He clears his throat. “The red helps for sleeping. Sometimes I have trouble getting to sleep. Because I don’t like normal light, having a red LED has the least wattage. It changes the circadian rhythm and improves melatonin.” H
e scoffs out a half-laugh. “Some shit like that. Some doctor recommended it for nighttime, but I use it in here all the time because I can’t stand normal lighting.”

  That’s interesting.

  I had no idea he had trouble sleeping. Honestly, since I’ve been here, I haven’t noticed it at all. “I had no idea you had trouble sleeping.”

  “Since you’ve been here, I haven’t had any issues.”

  “Do you think it’s ‘cause you had someone in your bed with you?”

  “It’s ‘cause I have you in my bed with me.”

  I lean down, pressing my lips to his briefly. That spark I felt the first time I kissed him is back with a vengeance. My lips tingle as I pull back with a contented sigh.

  He’s happy.

  At ease, even.

  I want to keep prying, but I don’t want to overstep and have him put his walls back up.

  “Just ask, Eva,” he interrupts my internal decision-making process.

  Nodding, I exhale. “Why do you dislike the light so much?”

  He tightens his jaw, his eyes clenching shut like he’s trying to pry out a memory. Instantly, I regret bringing it up. Whatever it is, it must be painful. My hands splay out on his chest, trying to soothe him, and his face softens. His eyes open, a distant stare takes hold as he looks right past me.

  “My mom was young when she had me. Fourteen or so, I think they said. She was a runaway. Had no idea what to do with a baby, so she took me to a family care facility and handed me in.”

  “So, you don’t know who she is? Or your father?”

  “I don’t really care. She left me. It’s her fault I grew up the way I did.”

  I tense, but the words come out anyway. “Foster care?”

  His body going rigid beneath me. “I moved around a lot when I was young, but when I was about ten, I was placed in a more permanent home. A boys’ home.” I nod, urging him to continue. “I was the youngest of seven boys living in the smallest house. There wasn’t enough room for us all to share the bedrooms, so they moved me into a tiny closet under the stairs. They figured I was the smallest, so I would fit in there.” My stomach twists—that is not okay. It reminds me of some Harry Potter nightmare. “They put in a beanbag for me to sleep on, and I had an overhead light I could pull on the cord to keep me safe. I was so fucking scared of the dark. The other boys knew it, too.” I hate where this is leading. “They would pick on me. They were all older in their teens, so they thought it would be funny while I was outside playing to take the light globe out from my closet.” He shudders. “When I went in that night, and the door was shut, I tried to turn on the light, but it wouldn’t illuminate. It was pitch black… I was terrified.” I gulp a lump down my throat. “I moved for the door to open it, but those fuckers had locked me in.”

  My heart pounds for my poor little Alec. How innocent he must have been. Those boys turned him from a normal kid into a scared little boy in one instant. Shit like that causes psychological trauma.

  What I don’t understand is if he was scared of the dark, why does he now hate the light?

  “I spent what felt like hours banging on the door, crying, screaming for them to let me out. My foster parents didn’t come to my rescue. They were just as scared of them as I was. I was so frantic, I broke my fingernails clawing at the door.”

  “Jesus, Alec,” I whisper, my eyes flooding with tears.

  “Then as the darkness had truly set in… I gave up. I sat back in the shadows of the closet, shaking, crying, wishing for hell to swallow me whole. That was when I heard the lock click.”

  “They let you out?” I ask.

  He tenses all over. “Much worse.” He inhales with the memory. “They opened the door, I stood, racing forward to get out. They shone the brightest flashlight I’d ever seen directly in my eyes…” He winces like he’s blinded by the light all over again. “After being in the dark for so long, it was like I was instantly blind. I fell on my ass back on the beanbag while they all poked fun at me, then slammed the door shut, locking me in again with the key that’s in my closet. I was disorientated. I didn’t know what was happening. I couldn’t see. The light had completely thrown me off. I felt sick. I was so emotional from the stress of it all I threw up all over myself and the bean bag, but I still couldn’t see what was happening. All I knew was they could hear me losing my shit, and they were laughing their asses off.”

  A fat tear falls down my cheek as pain crosses over his face.

  “I was back in the dark, lying in my own vomit with my anxiety through the roof.” His nostrils flare. “And every night they would do the same thing. Keep me in the dark, then open the door flashing me with the brightest light, disabling me completely. Then, they started throwing things in when they would flash me with the light. At first, it was simple shit like a pie in the face or a bucket of mud. Then the real torture began. The spiders came next…”

  I let out a gasp.

  “Then there was shit I don’t even want to remember. So, you understand how I was living in darkness all that time, it became the only thing I could rely on. When the light came, so did the boys. So did the torture. Light was pain. Light was my enemy.” My bottom lip trembles thinking of the horror he went through. “They didn’t let me out of that closet until social services came… four years later.”

  My hand flies to my mouth. “What?” I shriek. “I hope they were arrested!”

  He clears his throat. “No… just taken to other homes, but they’re the reason I joined the club. So my brothers could help me find my revenge.”

  Gulping a lump down my throat, I’m pretty sure I comprehend what that means. “And did you? Find your revenge?”

  He finally smiles a genuine smile. “Let’s just say I found that fucking key, and they met the darkness. Unlike me, they didn’t get a chance at being blinded by the light.”

  I have no idea what that means, but I’m pretty sure it means all those boys are now dead. It scares me a little that I’m actually happy about it. There’s no doubt in my mind they deserved it. There’s no reason to torture a poor little defenseless boy.

  Animals, nothing but animals.

  “I’m so sorry you went through that. It fucking kills me to think about what they did to you.”

  His muscles relax a little from the tension they were holding, and he exhales. “I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for them. Did they fuck with my head? Hell, yeah. Do I do things a little fucking weird? Maybe, but I am who I am. I don’t know any other way.”

  My fingers slide along his chest as I stare up at him. “I happen to like who you are.”

  The happiness on his face shines brightly for a split second, then everything stops. All the bad in my life is well again just from the joy in his expression. He shines like the stars at the stroke of midnight in the middle of a field, with no city lights to dull their brilliance. Despite everything we’ve been going through, the way he ignites like this from one small compliment means so much to me. I mean as much to him as he means to me. I just hadn’t figured it out until this very second.

  “That means a lot, Eva.”

  I lean in, pressing my lips to his softly. I need him to understand there’s no judgment from me about his past. If anything, I think more highly of him. Pulling back, there’s one more thing I’m desperate to find out the answer to. “Can I ask something else?”

  He shrugs. “Sure, why not.”

  “Why, Nycto? What does it mean?”

  His hand comes up smoothing a strand of hair from my face. “It’s short for Nyctophilia.”

  I furrow my brows. “Is that some kind of weird sex thing?”

  He bursts out laughing. “No, it means a preference for the darkness or night. Basically, finding comfort or relaxation in the dark.”

  His childhood really has shaped who he is today. Even down to who he is as a biker. It’s sad in a way, but I understand something like that would stay with me too. He’s been traumatized. It changed him, irrevocably. He�
�s just trying to live his life the only way he knows how by shutting out the light. The light hurts him. It might be weird to people who don’t understand, but I get it now. Though, maybe he needs to talk to someone about his issues. He obviously hasn’t had any form of counseling about his childhood.

  “Nycto, have you talked to anyone about your past?”

  “Yeah, sure, a few brothers here and there. The people who need to know do.”

  “No, I mean talked to someone, a professional to help you with your demons?”

  He scoffs. “They don’t help, Chiquita. What’s the point in dragging up old memories? I put it to bed when I…” He pauses. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over with. I’m fine.”

  I take in the dull red glow illuminating the room. “The reason you couldn’t sleep before I got here… was it dreams? Nightmares?”

  His face scrunches as he glares at me. “Where are you going with this, Eva?”

  “You believe you’re okay, but your inner child is still in there traumatized. Alec, you need to talk to someone and find out if this behavior is normal for someone this many years later.”

  “It’s too damn late. We should try to get some sleep.”

  He’s shutting down.

  I know when to stop pushing. I will try again in a couple of days. For now, I need to let this go. “Thanks for opening up to me.”

  Nycto closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath. “Good night, Chiquita.”

  I slide into his side getting comfortable. “Night, Alec.”

  I can’t tell what the future holds for Nycto and me, but his past was miserable. If I can keep him focused on how good life can be, maybe he might start to deal with those demons that haunt him. Because they do. Whether he believes it or not.

  He might want to push me away for wanting to help him, but maybe it’s a risk I need to take.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  EVA

  A Month Later

  Being confined to the clubhouse since I got here is starting to wear thin. I knew we would kind of be in isolation, but I had no idea Ivy and I would honestly be kept on the clubhouse grounds with such restrictions.