Defining Darkness (Royal Bastards MC Tampa Chapter Book 1) Page 15

  Ivy has coped with it better than I have. She’s happy in her little bubble as she calls it, but I want to explore America, to experience the city of Tampa, and to go to a freaking mall and buy my own things, but Nycto’s adamant we can’t be seen. His tension is growing the more time goes on about us being found. He’s anxious. It’s like something’s eating at him, and no matter how I try to talk to him, he won’t budge on opening up or going to talk to a counselor.

  He’s stubborn.

  But other than our mutual frustrations, we’ve been doing good. Our sex life is off the charts. I’ve never felt more at ease being with someone than I do when I’m with Nycto. We’ve fallen into a relaxed rhythm already. It’s like we’ve known each other for years, not just over a month.

  It’s also funny how being involved with Nycto tends to give me mad respect from everyone else here in the club. If I ask for something, I get it right away and without hesitation. They don’t need to bend over backward for me, but they do, anyway. Is it because Nycto told them all to do it? Or is just what happens when you’re kind of seeing a president of the Royal Bastards MC?

  Nycto didn’t tell me he wants them to treat me special, but they do. It’s like I’m somehow the queen of this clubhouse. I have to admit, it feels fucking good.

  This past month, I’ve been trying to spend as much time as I can with each member—brothers, club girls, a couple of the ol’ ladies of the older members. I’m making my way around to everyone. If I’m going to be here for the long haul, I need to make friends with them all.

  Ivy, on the other hand, has been keeping more to herself downstairs. I visit her all the time. She does come up and talk to people, but she isn’t as social as I am, which is the complete opposite to how she was in Cuba. I’m not sure if she does not fit in here like I do, or what’s keeping her away, but I need to figure it out. If she’s not happy, then I need to find a way to fix it.

  Heading downstairs into the Bricking Room, the chill I always get when I walk in shivers over my spine. How she lives down here, I’ll never know. Making my way to the Brick Cell, I pull the wall back. She’s sitting with the laptop Void got her, watching some kind of video on the screen.

  She giggles, her eyes shift up, and she waves at me. “Eva, come look at this. It’s so cool!”

  The brightness on her face instantly has me enthused. I round the table, then sit next to her, looking at the screen. A giant pimple comes on, and suddenly someone’s bursting it. The liquid oozes everywhere making me scrunch my face up in revulsion. “Whoa, that was a good one,” Ivy gushes.

  My stomach rolls as I yank her laptop closed, pulling a sour face. “You’re disgusting.”

  “You know there’s an actual television show dedicated to popping pimples? The doctor on it is so cute. She’s one of those people you just wanna squeeze ‘cause they’re so adorable.”

  “It’s official, you have too much time on your hands. Ivy, you need to get out of this…” I wave my hands around, “… cell and come upstairs more.”

  She pouts. “I like it down here.”

  Turning to face her more, it’s time to get serious. “Why? Do you not like everyone up there? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  Her eyes widen in shock. “Oh, fuck, no, of course, I do. I love the guys and the club girls. They’ve made me feel so at home it’s not fun—”

  “Then what is it, Ivy? Why would you stay down here? It’s so… so creepy.”

  She shrugs. “In Cuba, I was basically like a socialite. Having to be this outgoing and fun person to fit in with my crowd of friends, to fit into this mold they all wanted me to be. Here, I can actually be me. I can stay down here and be a loner, or I come up there and hang with everyone. They’re okay to let me be me, and I love them for it. They don’t force me to be anything but myself, so I’m taking it and running with it. Please don’t be the one to stop me from being who I really am, Eva.”

  My head jerks back in shock. “I had no idea. I thought you loved going out partying, hanging with all your friends in Cuba?”

  “I had pigeonholed myself into being a person I hated, a person they all thought I should be. I hated my life in Cuba, Eva. I love being at this club. I love my space down here. I have since they rescued us from the boat. You probably don’t understand, but please try.”

  I shrug. “Okay… I get it…” I pause, thinking back on something she said. “Since they rescued us from the boat?”

  Her eyes go as wide as saucers as she stands, suddenly turning pale. “I meant you. Then when they brought me here later,” she blurts out in quick succession.

  My heart rate quickens as my breathing intensifies. “Ivy?”

  She starts to pace like she’s panicking. “Shit! I got it confused, Eva. Don’t listen to me. In fact, Void’s calling me. I need to go.” She turns, racing for the stairs.

  Now I really know something’s wrong.

  “Ivy Alicia Pérez, you get back here right now!” I take off after her as she runs up the stairs taking two at a time.

  I chase after her, anxiety flooding through my veins. I’m not entirely sure what’s happening right now, but something’s been hidden from me. Something I’m sure I’m not going to like.

  “Ivy!” I yell out to her as I reach the top of the stairs.

  She’s sprinting toward Void. I stop at the top. Anger races through me as Nycto turns to take in the chaos.

  I huff. “Ivy… stop!” I yell, making everyone halt what they’re doing to turn and look at me. I have the attention of the entire clubhouse, including Nycto.

  Ivy’s fearful eyes turn from Void to Nycto, and she grimaces. “I’m so sorry,” she whimpers.

  Nycto takes a step forward. “What the hell’s going on?”

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I flare my nostrils in irritation. “I’d like to know that myself.”

  Nycto turns to Ivy as she throws her hands up in surrender. “It was an accident,” her voice is a soft whimper.

  Suddenly, it starts falling into place.

  The reason I was locked in Nycto’s room.

  Why Ivy’s so calm.

  I don’t understand everything, but it makes perfect sense.

  Why they didn’t search for Ivy straight away.

  When Nycto took me on a tour of the clubhouse, why he didn’t take me downstairs.

  Because Ivy was already down there.

  She’s been there since we were taken.

  It’s why she’s so comfortable down there.

  My body slumps as pain cripples me at their deception.

  I let out a whimper as I clutch at my chest. “You lied,” I scream through my rapidly blurring eyes.

  “Eva, let me—” I cut Nycto off.

  “You lied!” I yell, the back of my throat hurting as nausea hits my stomach full force.

  Tension fills the air, it’s so rife you couldn’t even cut it with a chainsaw, let alone a knife. Nycto moves to take a step forward, but I step back. He holds his hands up in surrender as tears stream down my face.

  “How could you? Why would you? I-I d-don’t understand! It makes no sense.”

  Nycto’s pleading eyes meet mine.

  Dammit! I thought we had something.

  A connection.

  A future.

  But everything was all a lie.

  “Chiquita, I didn’t keep Ivy from you as a punishment—”

  “Jesus Christ, it is true. She was here the whole fucking time! Is that why you’ve been staying away from everyone, Ivy. Out of the limelight because Nycto made you keep this lie from me?”

  “No, Eva. I was telling the truth about why I like staying in the Brick Cell. I’m sorry we didn’t tell yo—”

  “So, you were in on it? You knew the whole time he was keeping me in his room, and you did nothing to help get me out? Ivy… I fought day and night for you.”

  Ivy’s bottom lip trembles. “It wasn’t like that, Eva.”

  “Wasn’t it? Tell me what it was,
then? Because you knew I was locked in a room, and you did nothing.”

  My bottom lip trembles as I wipe the tears away from my face.

  Nycto takes another step forward. “Eva, this is all on me.”

  I let out a half-laugh. “You better believe this is all on you. It’s your fault completely. You took me. You made me believe Ivy was sold. Probably having God knows what done to her. You sat there… Night. After. Night… while I cried to you, while I begged you to find her.” I let out a hefty scoff. “You are the biggest liar of them all. I can’t ever trust you, Nycto. My whole relationship with you is based on a fucking lie.”

  “Eva…”

  “I thought you were some hero. Some guy who swept in and saved not only me but then you ‘found’ Ivy. In my mind, you were like a god. I put you up on this pedestal like no one could come close to how amazing you are… even with all your flaws and faults. I mean fuck, how do I believe anything you say? About your past. About any fucking thing! I don’t even know who the fuck you are, Alec.”

  Everyone in the room shifts uncomfortably as Nycto’s nostrils flare, the vein in his neck ticking in aggravation.

  He’s angry.

  Good.

  I bet it’s not even a pinprick of how I’m feeling.

  “You better start watching your mouth, Eva. I need you to remember where you are and who you’re talking to,” he warns.

  “I need you to remember I’m a human being, and you played a motherfucking game with me. I don’t know what the hell your intentions were, or what the hell you thought you were going to achieve. Did you want to show everyone you could easily make me look like a damn fool? Well, congratulations, Nycto, you won. Aren’t I a damn idiot? I want out of this clubhouse and away from your lying sack-of-shit ass. To be honest, I don’t care whether you come with me or not, Ivy. You’re just as guilty as the rest of these assholes.” My feet stomp as I turn heading for the clubhouse exit.

  “Eva, you can’t leave the compound,” Nycto calls out.

  “Watch me,” I yell in reply, determination flowing through me.

  I’m angry.

  Angry as hell.

  Furious.

  The anger is fueling me right now as I storm out the exit. The sunlight of the late afternoon rays hits me as I make my way up the concrete ramp toward the giant gate. The funky smell of Hillsborough Bay causes me to turn up my nose as I reach the giant ten-foot wrought iron fence. The top of each blackened spike has barbed wire circles linking it to the next like some ring of fucking death. There’s no way I could climb it even if there weren’t barbed wire. I stare at the brother sitting at his station while he assesses me in curiosity.

  “You gonna open the gate or what?” I snarl at him.

  “No can do, Eva.”

  Groaning, I fold my arms over my chest. There must be another way out of this fucking hell hole. Making my way back down the concrete ramp, I’m raging as I traipse around the side of the bunker. It’s mainly just concrete and shrubs out here. Every angle I take, the fence is impenetrable. My anger’s starting to wear thin as I make my way to the rear of the bunker when I finally see an out. Excitement bubbles inside of me as I rush up to the opening in the brush, pushing it to the sides.

  This is it. I can finally break free and leave this godawful place.

  Suddenly, a sign comes into view as I push another shrub out of the way.

  Warning Electric Fence Ahead

  My throat begins to close up as my chest tightens. My body shudders as my legs give out. I plummet to the ground letting out a harrowing sob. All my pent-up emotions pour out of me as it all becomes too much.

  Nycto lied to me.

  Ivy lied to me.

  Why?

  I don’t fully comprehend.

  I can’t even imagine the motivation behind it.

  Did Nycto want to see if I would submit to him? Was this all a power play to see if I would fall into his arms?

  The whole idea makes me sick.

  Bringing my head into my hands, tears flow into my palms as I rock back and forth on the ground. I’m losing my shit. It’s as if everything I thought was reality is all a fabrication.

  Suddenly, an arm slides around me as a person shifts in beside me.

  “You’re going to be okay, hon.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  EVA

  Trixie’s beside me, her kind eyes feeling like the only friend I have right now. I sniffle as I wipe my eyes with the backs of my hands.

  “I have no idea what’s going on, Trix. I don’t even know what’s been real the last however many weeks this ride has been.”

  “Eva, there’s one thing I know for certain… the way Nycto feels about you is one-hundred percent real. He adores you. That’s why all of this happened at the start.”

  Confusion riddles me. What does she mean?

  “I don’t understand?”

  “Nycto’s job is to transport packages from the boat to wherever they need to go, right?”

  I shrug.

  “You took his eye when you left the boat. Eva, he’s wanted you. Needed you, since he first saw you. Everything he’s done has been to make you happy and keep you and your sister safe.”

  “Right, keeping me from Ivy when she’s in the same place as me is keeping me happy?”

  Trixie dips her head. “True. His methods aren’t always flawless, he’s a damaged man. Honestly, Eva, all he wanted was to have you to himself for as long as possible. He knew the second you were reunited with Ivy, you’d want to either leave with her, which would put yourselves and the club in danger, or you’d want to spend all your time with her. Either option wasn’t okay with him. All he wanted was you.”

  Letting that sink in, I exhale. “While I guess it is kind of sweet, it’s also fucking selfish. He let me continue to think Ivy was out there being hurt. He knew I was struggling. The thoughts of Ivy being hurt were killing me constantly.”

  “Trust me, Nycto was struggling. He wanted to tell you. Time and time again, but the further it went on, the harder it got. He adores you, Eva.”

  “He made Ivy lie to me.”

  Trixie exhales. “Ivy thought it was for the best, too. Everyone shares equal blame here.”

  Her eyes aren’t deceitful as I look at her. I can tell she’s being honest with me.

  “Did everyone at the club know what was going on? That Nycto was hiding me, and Ivy was downstairs?”

  “Yes… we knew because by having you both at the clubhouse puts us all in danger. Nycto stole you from prominent and manipulative buyers, Eva. They needed to be compensated for the loss of their goods. If Nycto couldn’t compensate them for you both, then he would most definitely have been in trouble... that burden weighs heavily on him. He won’t only be in deep shit with all the brothers here, but the rest of the Royal Bastards will come after him for putting issues back on the club. He’ll be in… for a world of hurt, Eva, if this gets found out.” She grimaces. “I honestly don’t think you’re truly gripping the seriousness of the situation.”

  A knot forms in my stomach. “W-Would they k-kill him? For taking us?”

  Trixie raises her brow. “Depends on who we’re talking about. The club? Possibly, but they’re more likely to keep their punishments in-house. Your buyers? They are the wildcards. They’re the type to not only kill him but everyone in the clubhouse as well. Then take you and Ivy back just for funsies. Then God only knows what they’d do to you both.”

  “So, Nycto took us both with the understanding this was the possible outcome?”

  She licks her lips. “Nycto took you knowing this was the outcome. Then you changed the benchmark by demanding your sister go, too. He had no idea what he was doing when he took you, so when your sister was included, there were no plans in place. He winged it every step of the way.”

  “I still don’t understand why he kept us apart.”

  Trixie sighs. “He may not have gone about it the right way, but Eva, Nycto likes you. This was his way of sh
owing you that.”

  “Keeping me from my family is showing me he likes me? Yeah, right!”

  “He wanted to spend as much time with you before you found yourself so occupied with Ivy you had no time for him. He wanted a chance with you…” she pauses then continues, “I mean, you have to know him a little bit by now, right? He doesn’t do things in the ‘normal’ way. He has a weird way of doing things because of the way he was brought up. You have to find it somewhere inside of you to understand that in his own fucked-up way, everything he’s done, he’s done so he could spend more time with you.”

  Something flows through me. I’m not sure what it is. Sadness for Nycto that he was raised in such a fucked-up way, that the only way he shows true emotion is by doing it so incredibly wrong. Or is it an underlying feeling that I should forgive him because he’s so damaged, and he thought he was doing the right thing?

  I shouldn’t roll over, of that I am sure.

  He hurt me, whether he was trying to spend time with me in the only fucked-up way he knew how or not. It doesn’t excuse the fact he hid my sister from me and down and out lied about her to my face.

  How can I believe anything he says to me?

  “I don’t know how to trust him. How can I believe anything he says?”

  Trixie shrugs. “Let him show you in his actions. Let him, Eva. In all my time here, I’ve never seen the president behave with anyone the way he does with you. The way his face lights up when he says your name. You’ve woken something inside of him that I’m not sure any of us even knew was there. So, thank you… thank you for turning him into someone bearable.”

  How do I answer that?

  After Nycto opening up to me, I can only imagine what hell he went through as a kid. I bet it didn’t even scratch the surface as to what he went through with those boys in that godforsaken home. All I know is I don’t want to be another reason he falls off the deep end. Maybe I need to go back in, talk this out with them. Maybe I need to stop wallowing in their selfishness and try to hold onto whatever good they were trying to accomplish.