Seeking Shadows (Royal Bastards MC Tampa Chapter Book 3) Read online

  “Are you drunk?” she teases.

  My eyes shift to the ceiling. “Hmm… maybe a smidge.” My free hand comes up, indicating a small gap between my thumb and pointer finger.

  Her hand taps my knee with a chuckle. “You need to remember how you’re gonna feel in the morning when you’re up bright and early doing all your prospect duties.”

  A blank expression crosses my face. “Shiiit! You’re right. So, so right. How can you be so fucking perfect all the time?”

  Her brows crease like she’s confused. “Is that meant to be a compliment or an insult?”

  Instantly, my eyes widen that she thinks I’ve insulted her. “No. Shit no. It’s a compliment, Ivy. You amaze me… all the time, like fucking constantly.” Fuck, I sound like an idiot.

  “Dash… no, I’m nothing. Just a girl who hides in a Brick Cell.”

  But she’s not, she’s so much fucking more. “You’re a woman, Ivy. A woman who has me completely torn up inside.” I want to reach out and kiss her so fucking bad, show her what she means to me. Take what’s mine. She means every-fucking-thing and right now, all I can think about are her lips.

  My hand around her shoulders slides gently into the back of her hair.

  She gasps.

  Yes. I lean in, my lips ache to touch hers. Suddenly, I am yanked up by my cut and pulled away before my lips make contact. I let out a small groan as I wobble on my feet. Glancing over my shoulder, my eyes clap on Void.

  Fuck. Play it cool. “Oh, hey, Void—” I don’t have time to react before his fist slams straight into my eye socket. Pain tears through me so intensely that I spin, flying face-first into the pool table. Maybe I should just roll over, let this play out. Then I think otherwise, and a wave of unrivaled anger surges through me—the fact he has taken the one thing in my life which has meant something—the one woman I could see a future with, pulls me back into the now.

  Void reaches out, grabbing the back of my cut, but I turn, pushing forward, ramming into Void, right into his broken ribs. I slam him so hard, he lets out a groan as I knock him down onto the floor with everything I have. He’s stunned, out for the count, so I take the momentum I have, pulling my fist back and crash it straight into his jaw. My brothers all around us cheer, enjoying the brawl rather than moving in to stop us—true Bastards.

  I raise my fist to land another punch into Void’s face to let out all the anger I hold toward him.

  “Stop it,” Ivy screams, but I don’t let up, slamming another fist into Void’s eye socket this time.

  That’s when I feel a brutal hit thrust into my jaw sending my head careening to the side. Searing pain gains my attention as I stop my attack to find Ivy is the one who punched me.

  Fuck! My chest aches with the knowledge that she stepped in to defend Void—from me.

  There is no damn hope.

  Rubbing my face, I keep my emotions in check as I stare at her.

  I’ve lost her.

  But then again, I never really had her, did I?

  “That’s enough! You two are fucking ridiculous. And Dash, hitting Void in the ribs, what were you thinking?” Ivy berates, which only confirms my suspicions—I’ve gone and made everything so much fucking worse.

  Nycto storms over, rubbing his chin in disapproval. “Prospect, you don’t attack the VP and not have consequences. Go to the chapel, now. Void, go to your room to sleep this off. Party’s over for both of you.”

  Huffing, I glare at Void, keeping my eyes from Ivy. I can’t look at her right now. I’m too ashamed. She makes me act like some sort of fucking idiot. I am a man, not some lovesick creep. Turning, I make my way to the chapel, knowing I’m probably about to get my marching orders which I deserve. Nycto’s a fair man, but when it comes to the club and club business, he will do anything to protect the brothers and the sanctity of the Tampa Royal Bastards. So, I fully expect this was my last damn hurrah and what a stupid hurrah it was—over a damn woman. Even I roll my eyes at my own stupidity.

  Closing the door behind me, I walk over to the far wall, my heart racing, the alcohol seeming to have worn off somehow. I guess all that blood pumping and adrenaline must have burned it off.

  Or maybe I’m fucking delusional.

  Maybe this is all some nightmare, and I’m going to wake up and everything will be fine.

  Not fucking likely.

  Grinding my teeth, my body tenses as heat rushes over my skin. My pulse speeds as my anger intensifies, and I can’t stand it any longer. Grabbing the nearest wooden chair, I hoist it up with all my force, then slam it into the brick façade, the chair splintering into pieces as the door opens and Nycto walks in.

  “You fucking done destroying club property and its members there, prospect?” My president grunts as he walks in, lighting up a cigarette.

  Huffing, I try to calm myself down, so I pull out another chair to sit.

  “Did I say you could sit?” Nycto blares his voice so damn loud it actually bounces around the room. He stomps over, grabs my cut and forces me back against the wall with a shove. “You ever, and I mean ever, fucking come at one of my members like that again, I’ll have Ivy brick you behind the wall so fast you won’t know what hit you. You feel me?”

  Swallowing hard, I simply nod. “I hear you.”

  Nycto pushes me up the wall a little higher. “This shit between you and Void, it stops right-fucking- now. I don’t care if you’re in love with Ivy. She and Void are working their shit out. You gotta stay the hell out of that. For fuck’s sake, she’s made her choice. You gotta respect it. If you can’t… no one’s stopping you from walking. But, you walk, kid, you don’t ever fucking come asking for anything from us again. We don’t like quitters when shit gets tough.” He lets me go abruptly, and I stumble as my feet hit the floor.

  He’s right.

  I have to get over all this.

  I have to let Ivy go, so I say, “It was a dick move going after Void… is he okay?”

  Nycto snorts, taking another drag on his smoke. “He saw a prospect try to kiss his woman, then the same prospect laid him out on his ass for the entire club to see…” His face contorts in fury, then he turns away. “No, Dash, I don’t think he’s fucking okay.”

  “What do you need me to do?”

  Nycto turns back to face me, shaking his head, the disappointment more than evident. “You’re a good kid. You’ve done a lot for this club. I don’t forget that shit.”

  A sinking feeling washes over me when I say, “But you need me to leave.”

  Nycto rolls his shoulders. “I don’t want you to hand in your cut. You’re worth more than that, but yes, I need you to leave. I can’t tell you how long, but for now, while the dust settles, I need you to take off and let them figure their relationship out without you hanging over them like a bad fucking smell.”

  “But I can come back?”

  “Yeah. When I tell you it’s time. But I want you on radio silent. Contact me and only me. Don’t talk to Ivy, even if she reaches out. That’s part of your punishment. I need you to cut all ties with her until further notice. There will be further penalties, I just need to figure that shit out.”

  “Can I stay in Tampa? I don’t want to leave my family unattended if I don’t have to.”

  “Don’t go anywhere near the club or where club members will see you.”

  “Prez?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks.”

  “Don’t thank me yet, I haven’t dished out your punishment. But I will be in touch, so keep your cell on you at all times. Go… pack your shit!” He dips his chin. “If it’s any consolation, you have a mean right hook.” I am sure I see a smirk, but I could be mistaken as the flaring nostrils and heavy breathing tells me he’s angry as hell.

  “I’ll leave as soon as I’m packed.”

  “Good. Let me know when you’re settled. I’ll send further instructions.”

  Looks like I’m out on my own.

  Guess I’m heading home for a while.

&n
bsp; Better let Mom know… she’s going to love this.

  Chapter Three

  DASH

  A Week Later

  After a week of zero contact with the club and spending every waking second at home with my family, I’m going completely stir-crazy. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my mom and siblings, but listening to my sisters and brother fight over the bathroom every morning is fucking draining. Not to mention, the incessant nagging from Mom about why I am home.

  Why have they kicked you out?

  Are you in trouble?

  Should I be worried?

  Are we in danger?

  What steps do we need to take?

  I understand her concerns, but I don’t want to talk about how I got my ass handed to me for being a drunken fool and trying to kiss a woman who clearly doesn’t want me and belongs to another man. Fucking brotherhood 101—do not mess with another brother’s woman.

  But as the day heads into another night of my kid siblings fighting over the last chicken drumstick, I let out a groan and stand from the table, gaining their attention.

  “Going somewhere, Dash? We’ve not finished dinner.”

  “Thanks for dinner, Mom. But I got somewhere I have to be.” I slide my chair in, then grab my keys from the buffet.

  She exhales, bobbing her head. “Just don’t come home drunk, but if you do, please don’t ride.”

  She knows me too well. “I’ll be safe. Gotta set an example for my little brother.”

  Arlo looks up at me, his big blue eyes gleaming in appreciation. “Don’t worry about me, Dash. I’ve been the man of the house while you were gone. I can take care of our family while you’re out.”

  “That so?” Sadness washes over me at his statement.

  He bobs his head matter-of-factly. “Mm-hmm.”

  Cali rolls her eyes shoving into his shoulder. “And what am I? Chopped liver? I am, after all, the second eldest.”

  Arlo scrunches up his face. “Don’t be silly, Cali. You can’t be the man of the house… you don’t have muscles.”

  She pulls him into a headlock, and I burst out laughing. “Don’t have muscles, my ass, you little shit!”

  “Language, Cali, your brother is impressionable.”

  My family dynamic is what makes me love them all. Even though they are overbearing, I wouldn’t change them. The problem is, I need to get out. Have some time to myself. Get my head on straight. So, I grab my leather jacket, sliding it over my arms.

  “Don’t bring anyone home,” Zara calls out, grinning at me from ear to ear.

  I scowl as I open the door and head for my ride.

  “Make good decisions… remember, you’re our role model,” Cali yells as I shut the door on the incessant nagging.

  Shaking my head, I stride over to my bike, trying to decide where in the hell I’m going to go. I didn’t think that far ahead—I have to be mindful not to run into any of the Bastards. Maybe I’ll ride out to Clearwater, take in the ocean. It’s a warm night, good for a long ride, and I haven’t opened my bike up for a little while.

  A ride to clear my fucked-up head is what’s needed.

  I jump on, kick over the engine, and start riding without really thinking about the destination. I just ride, my mind wandering over the last week and the shitstorm sweeping into my life since hurricane Ivy arrived.

  Suddenly, I find myself paying attention to wherever the hell I am as I look over to The Drunken Lime Tavern. I’m confused because it’s the complete opposite direction of Clearwater. Shrugging, I park my ride on the street and kick out the stand. It’s a little more alive and buzzing tonight with hell- raisers than the other day when I was here.

  Will Badass be here again tonight? I sure hope so.

  Throwing my leg over my ride, I walk toward the entry. Two women work behind the bar, neither of them are Badass. Disappointment floods through me instantly, but I make my way inside over to a stool at the bar. Sitting, the redhead eyes me up and down suggestively as she saunters my way. “Hey, handsome. What can I get ya?”

  “Beer, and I was wondering if bad—” Shit, that’s not her name. “Fuck, ahh… this chick who works here… blonde hair, cute face, an attitude like a trucker. Is she here?”

  “Oh, you mean—”

  “Thanks, Scarlett, I got this one.” Badass steps out from behind the swinging doors of the kitchen carrying a tray of food, looking hot as sin—her tight white shirt, tied in a knot at her stomach and her tiny denim shorts, like something from the damn Dukes of Hazzard. She slides the tray of food over to an overly rotund man sitting at the end of the bar. He eyes her up and down, paying way too much attention to her tits.

  She grips his forearm. “Go easy on the hot sauce this time, Frank. Remember the heartburn you had last time?” He chuckles, picking up the bottle of sauce and lathers it thick over his wings, anyway.

  Badass shakes her head as she walks over to me. I tilt my head in greeting as a beer is slid my way. “Thanks, Scarlett.”

  Scarlett winks at me. “Pleasure, handsome.” She leans down on the bar, which forces her tits up. It’s damn hard not to check out the mass of cleavage staring me right in the face. I clear my throat as Badass giggles, standing back watching Scarlett tactlessly flirt with me. But right now, I’m not in the mood. I make eye contact with Badass to avoid Turbo Tits McGee over there. “So listen, it’s hard for me to ask for you if I still don’t know your name.”

  She shrugs. “Maybe I’m still not sure if you’re worthy to give it to, yet.”

  “Ouch!” I chuckle.

  Scarlett shifts her eyes from me to Badass, then back to me again. “She hasn’t told you her name?”

  “Wanna help a brother out and fill me in?”

  Badass glares at Scarlett, and she stands with a smirk. “Oh, hell, no. Badass… was it? Yeah, she can kick my ass every which way from Sunday. There’s no way in hell I’m getting involved in this. Sorry handsome, if she doesn’t want you to know her name, it’s for one of two reasons.”

  Badass narrows her gaze on Scarlett, and I sit closer. “Oh, yeah? Do tell!”

  Scarlett leans in. “One, she thinks you’re an asshole and will end up stalking—”

  “High probability,” Badass interrupts.

  “Or—”

  “Or?” I ask.

  Scarlett turns. “Or Badass likes you and doesn’t want to risk getting attached.”

  Badass huffs. “Okay, Scarlett, that’s enough of your TED Talk for tonight. Go harass Frank, give him some milk. I’m sure he’s burning up right about now.”

  Scarlett gives me a cute little wave as she wanders off down the other end of the bar, shaking her ass from side to side as she goes. Badass slides in where Scarlett was, casually wiping down the already clean counter. “So, you look different tonight. No club cut?”

  “That’s a whole other story.”

  She glances up at the clock. “I got time.”

  Taking a long sip of my beer, I nod. “Got wasted. Lost all my inhibitions. Thought I was king of the fucking world.”

  She grimaces, leaning down on the bar to listen. “Was there puke?”

  “I wish. It was worse… much, much worse.”

  “Oh God, did you shit yourself?”

  I let out a booming laugh. “Fuck! Really? No, but I like that you’re making me laugh while telling this.”

  “Happy to oblige.”

  Exhaling, I turn my gaze from her, feeling like a dickhead. “I tried to kiss her.”

  “The girl you like?”

  “Yeah, but the guy she’s seeing, the guy who’s my VP… he got to me before my lips landed, and we had a brawl in the middle of the clubhouse.”

  She draws her bottom lip in by her teeth like she’s trying to hold in her laugh. I’m glad she finds my idiocy amusing. “That why you got a shiner on the side of your face there?”

  “That? Yep! That was Ivy punching me to get me off Void.”

  “You mean the other guy, the one she’s seeing?”


  I nod.

  She jerks her head back. “She punched you… to get you off him?”

  I nod again, and Badass can’t hold back her laughter this time. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh, but seriously, do you not see how fucked up this is?”

  “Yeah… I acted like some kind of deranged dick.”

  She purses her lips. “Well, that’s incredibly clear. For God’s sake, you need to let this woman go, Dash. If she’s beating on you because you’re hitting her man, then yeah, she’s not in any way interested or attracted to you. I’m sorry, man, and I get that it hurts, but you can do so much better. Because if she can’t see you could lose your place in the club for her and she still chooses the other guy, then yeah… she’s not for you.”

  Slumping on my stool, I know Badass is right. She always knows exactly what to say and when to say it. This is only the second time we’ve met and already it’s like I’ve known her a lifetime. “I’m starting to think you’re right… don’t worry, I’m letting her go. It’s hard knowing I have to go back there at some point and see them together, though.”

  She reaches out, her hand resting on my arm. The gesture is soothing in a way I didn’t expect. “So, you haven’t left the club altogether then?”

  “The prez told me to take some time. Said I’ve done a lot for the club. I still have another punishment coming, he just hasn’t told me what that might be yet. So, I am guessing that’ll be fun.”

  Badass grimaces, tightening her grip on my arm. “You got this, Dash. I believe in you.”

  I snort. “Just not enough to give me your name?”

  She stands back, folding her arms over her chest. “I like teasing you, it’s more fun this way.”

  “I might have to resort back to bar wench.”

  She glowers, then smirks as she turns, heading to the middle of the bar to take a man’s order.

  I pick up my beer, taking a long sip. I’m unsure what it is about this place, even though it’s rundown and completely broken in, it feels like a place I can start to come more often. A place I can begin to rely on as a safe haven. I turn back to Badass as she pours a beer effortlessly. I love how strong and empowered she is. But all that bravado comes from somewhere. The fierceness in her is epic. I love the way she takes no shit. I wonder how she got this way.