The Violet Widow? (Shattered Heart #1) Read online

  “I won’t run, I promise. Just know that I’m damaged and when you find out everything about me you probably won’t like what you hear.”

  “Well, there’s always things about people that others don’t like or agree with, but I’m sure whatever details you’re leaving out are probably only bad in your mind. We always tend to make things worse than they really are,” he says and I purse my lips wondering if he’s right. Maybe my past isn’t so bad? Maybe the fact that I still consider myself married and that I’m dancing in a very close proximity with a different man is not that bad?

  Who am I kidding, my head is so fucked up I should be in a looney bin. I know that I have issues. I know I have trouble connecting with people.

  Why do you think everyone I know has a nickname?

  That’s why, whatever this is with Rock is scaring me to death. I’m feeling, and I don’t do feelings.

  I’m tough, I’m strong and emotion never gets the better of me… ever!

  “Look I can tell you’re apprehensive, but just keep meeting me here each night and we will just take each day as it is. I don’t need to know your name. I want to know your name, but I don’t need to know it. TVW is fine for now, but if we keep meeting like this, and if you keep moving your hips with mine up against me like that, I’m going to start asking questions sooner or later. I don’t want to force you into anything, that’s not my style. But I don’t want to spend all our time running on cryptic versions of our lives, if you know what I mean?” he states and I nod against his forehead while I look into his sultry, multi-coloured eyes.

  “I get it, and if you give me time, I’ll open up. It just takes a while to break my tough exterior. The walls around me are rock solid, but if you persist like a sledgehammer eventually, the concrete will start to crack. But don’t take that too literally, I don’t want you coming at me all guns a blazing, that will just turn me off. I’m a fickle beast,” I joke and he smiles.

  “A beast that needs to be tamed?”

  “Yeah, maybe,” I admit.

  “Right, well now that all the serious stuff is out of the way, let me show you my moves,” he says and then dips me down as he moves our bodies in time with the music. He pulls me back up in line with him while I throw my head back and laugh at his sudden turn of playfulness. He holds onto me tightly as he laughs with me. All seriousness has evaporated and I actually feel content, calm and most of all safe in the arms of this stranger, who I call, Rock. His name’s quite fitting when I think about it, he’s kind of like a rock for me. A steady piece of ground that I keep coming back to and that I can rely on. He is my rock, and even though he brings out all sorts of emotions in me… anger, happiness, calmness, and adulterous lust, he is starting to feel like a new version of home. And maybe that’s what I need to find, a new version of home, whatever that may be?

  We spend the next two hours on the dance floor, entangled with each other, getting closer and closer with every move we make. I can feel the sparks flying off us in all directions. Having my body against his for so long, rubbing against each other is making my libido go into overdrive. All I can think about is Rock and all the adulterous things I want, no I need to do to him. But I will restrain myself, for the sake of my sanity and for the sake of Danny because I feel like if I give myself to Rock, there may be no turning back from that. And just like everything else about him, that fact scares me beyond belief. So instead of acting on my lust, I talk, and he talks back while we dance. I tell him all about my childhood and he tells me stories about him and his brothers and how terrified they were when his parents said they were having another baby, and to make matters worse it was a girl. That makes me laugh, he makes me laugh. I see the world through a new set of glasses with Rock. Or maybe I just see the world with my old pair, and the glasses I’ve had on for the last five years were the entirely wrong prescription? Either way I like what I see and hope that I don’t freak out again because as scary as this is, the excitement is just that little bit more overwhelming.

  He spins me around one last time before the bar is set to close at six a.m. I’m beyond tired and I probably shouldn’t be driving home, but I tend to go into auto-pilot anyway in the car so being tired shouldn’t hinder me too much. I yawn as he pulls me in for a tight embrace.

  “Are you okay to drive home? Do you want me to get you a taxi instead?”

  “No, I should be fine, what about you? Are you okay to ride that beast after pulling an all-nighter?”

  “I’ll be fine, I get by with little sleep most days,” he replies while we walk toward the front door of Amor. It was nice to spend more than a few minutes with him. The connection we have I can feel growing and I like every second of it. My fear is slowly dissipating and I haven’t thought about Danny once tonight until now that is. I feel a little guilty for having so much fun when I really should be miserable. But Rock is fun and I like that about him. He opens the door for me and I step out into the dimly lit morning. The sun is coming up over the horizon in reds and yellows and the sight is a beauty to behold. The gentle breeze wafting through the morning city air, brings smells of summer.

  “I had a really great time,” he says walking me to my car.

  “Me too. Thank you for pushing me to let my hair down. It was nice to live a little for once,” I say and he pulls me in for an embrace. I lean into him and rest my head in the nook of his neck taking in all the smells that are Rock. The smells that I’m growing to enjoy more and more. I inhale and close my eyes as his strong muscular arms wrap around me tightly.

  “Anytime little firecracker. Can I see you again, here, tonight?” he asks as he pulls back from me and looks me in the eyes. I nod and smile at him. “Great, I’ll see you tonight then.” His breathing hitches, which causes mine to do the same. He tilts his head and my lips part as I lick my bottom lip inadvertently. He moves in closer and my heart starts to race. I think he’s going to kiss me. Danny instantly flashes into my mind and as Rock comes in for a kiss, I bite my bottom lip and slowly back away.

  He pauses looking at me and raising an eyebrow. I figure it’s better to lie to him than tell him the truth. The truth that I haven’t kissed anyone since my dead husband five years ago. It’s a rule for me not to kiss anyone. The minute you kiss someone it becomes intimate and I don’t do intimacy… with anyone… for anything.

  “Sorry, I must have read the signals wrong,” he blurts out backing away from me and letting me go.

  I shake my head and take both his hands in mine. “No, it’s not you and you didn’t read it wrong. I want to, but I think I might be getting a cold sore. I just don’t want to give it to you.” And there’s the lie.

  He nods and furrows his brows like he’s confused. “Okay,” he says and leans in toward me again. My heart races because I think he’s going to kiss me anyway. I breathe heavy as his lips come fractionally closer to mine. I close my eyes because I just don’t have the strength to fight him. I purse my lips waiting and then I feel his soft lips against my cheek. I open my eyes and swallow hard.

  “Sorry, I couldn’t let tonight go without kissing you in some way.”

  I feel bad, I want to kiss him so badly, and really what’s in a kiss? But I can’t get Danny out of my mind right now. So I smile at him and press the button to unlock my car.

  “Thanks Rock, for a wonderful night. Well, technically morning, but you know what I mean,” I say as butterflies flutter around in my stomach.

  “Have a good rest and I’ll see you tonight,” he replies taking my hand and bringing it to his lips kissing the back of my hand gently.

  “Two kisses, I must be special,” I joke.

  “You have no idea how special you are,” he says and my heart stops, skips a beat and then restarts.

  “Well, I guess I had better…” I look toward my car.

  “Yeah, of course, drive safely,” he says taking me into another embrace.

  “You too, Rock. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

  “Can’t wait,” he says a
s I open my car door and slide into my seat.

  He closes my door while I buckle myself in and then places his palm on my window and I smile up at him as he turns and walks toward his bike. I watch him in the rearview and see him put on his helmet and I exhale a long staggered breath.

  How intense!

  He hops on his bike so I turn on the ignition and pull out into the street, concentrating more on my rearview than on the road ahead. As I watch Rock fade into the distance, I wonder how in three days I can already feel myself changing.

  For the better, or maybe worse?

  I don’t know.

  I guess only time will tell.

  I walk toward my office with a spring in my step. Tonight’s going to be a good night. I can feel it. I smile as I think back to this morning with Rock, swaying to the music, our bodies touching in every way and it sends a shiver up my spine just thinking about it. I open the door to my office and walk in. As usual the window is open letting in the soft summer breeze from across the ocean. The smell fills my lungs and I smile brightly. I feel like everything is falling into place.

  I came into work late today because I didn’t get home till a little after six-thirty a.m. so I had a couple of extra hours lie in to recover from the sleep deprivation. But at least I’m here. I actually felt like taking the entire day off and just relaxing, but for some reason, being at home wasn’t easing my nerves like it normally does. I have no idea why, but it’s nice to get out of the house and back to work. I wish I had a bed in my office because I’d just crawl up into it and stay there all day. It’s one of those days where I’m so content that lying in bed doing practically nothing sounds absolutely perfect. But I have a business to run and people to take care of so even when you want a down day, that’s a luxury I just can’t afford.

  I walk over to the window and pull back the white see-through curtain and gaze out to the ocean. I can only just see it twinkling in the moonlight and even after all this time it still takes my breath away. I take a deep breath and smile at the calm serenity surrounding me. Nothing can break me from the good mood I’m in.

  I hear a sudden screeching of tires. I look up toward my door and then I hear Angel scream. My heart starts to race as I jump up from my seat and rush over to my door. Just as I reach it, my door swings open with a bang and Papi rushes in carrying Star’s limp body. He’s crying and I instantly tense up.

  “Boss, you gotta help me,” he says clearly devastated while he rushes her to my sofa and places her down gently on the cushions. I open my eyes wide in shock as I take in her tiny battered body. She’s unconscious and her face is blue, purple and swollen. There are various shades of bruising covering every inch of her body, but most of all I take in the fact that she’s unconscious and not responding.

  “What the fuck, Papi?” I ask rushing over to her and notice that there’s blood pooling and running down her cheek from her nose.

  He caresses her cheek and rests his head on her stomach while he sobs.

  “Jesus, Star. Star, honey can you hear me?” I ask as I kneel down next to Papi and check if she’s even breathing. My heart’s pounding so fast I have no idea what the hell to do. She moans and we both look at her. Papi is caressing her hair while I stand and rush over to the phone.

  “What are you doing?” he asks.

  “Calling an ambulance,” I reply and start dialling.

  He stands and dashes over to me, taking the phone from my hands.

  “No Boss, no ambulance. They might bring the cops. I’ll take her to the hospital myself. I just… I didn’t know what to do,” he says wiping his cheeks and looking over at her.

  “What the fuck happened, Papi. Did you do this?” I know he probably didn’t, but the question has to be asked.

  He furrows his brows and frowns in disgust. “Fuck no, Boss. You know I love her. I would never hurt her. I was in the foyer with Angel and I heard tires screeching and then she stumbled through the door and passed out. I think it was the client she was just with, but I can’t be sure. She can’t talk because she’s too hurt. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stand that this has happened to her,” he sobs out and I pull him to me in a tight embrace.

  “It’s okay, Papi. We will get to the bottom of this. And trust me when I say whoever did this to our Star is going to pay. No one does this to my girls and gets away with it.” He nods his head against my shoulder while I walk us back over to her and we kneel down beside her.

  “God Star, what have they done to you?” I ask no one in particular as I run my hand through my hair.

  “Boss, the employees are wondering what’s going on? Is she okay?” Angel asks gaining my attention.

  I look back at her and shake my head. “No, she needs to go to the hospital. Papi will take her there now and can you make sure Papi and Star’s schedules are clear for the next week,” I tell her and she nods. She looks over at Star, winces, then walks back out the door.

  “I want you to stay with her for the next week, Papi. Spend time with her and help her recover. If you need longer then I will arrange that too. Just make sure she recovers and call me when you know what the damage is. In the meantime, I’m going to track down the fuckhead that she was with and see if I can find out what happened and make them pay,” I say through gritted teeth. Seems like my night isn’t going to be so great, after all. I hear running footsteps and turn to see Sheila race in. She stops when she notices Star on the sofa and her hand shoots up to her mouth and her eyes bulge out of her head.

  “Holy fuck, Papi! What did you do?” she states and turns her attention to Papi. He shakes his head and looks down at the floor. “What did you do?” she yells and rushes over bitch slapping him while he tries to fight her off.

  “Hey, stop it!” I say getting in between them and holding Sheila back.

  Papi falls to his knees and sobs into his hands making me furrow my brows. I know he’s upset, but why is he not defending himself.

  “I’ll fucking kill you if this is your fault, Papi,” she says reaching out to hit him again.

  I pull her back and hold her at arm’s length willing her to look at me. “Sheila. Sheila, stop! Papi did not do this, he loves her too much to do something like this,” I say and she shakes her head.

  “No, he may not have given her the beat down, but I bet he’s responsible. He’s the reason why this happened,” she replies her frown increasing as her nostrils flare out in anger.

  “Papi, what’s she on about?” I ask, my heart still racing in my chest.

  What the fuck has he done?

  “Papi, talk to me or I’ll let Sheila go,” I say and he looks up at me.

  “I got involved with some bikers and it could be them. I don’t know,” he replies and I shake my head.

  “Papi, you know better than that,” I berate and he nods while leaning up caressing Star’s black and blue face.

  “I know, but it might not be related. I really have no idea, Boss. I don’t… I just don’t know,” he says. Sheila relaxes against my body and I let her go. She walks over to Star and bends down next to Papi and she runs her fingers through Star’s bloody hair and shakes her head.

  “Fix this Papi or I’ll fix you,” she berates. Then she leans in and kisses Star on her forehead. She stands up and walks out of the room with her hand over her mouth like she’s suppressing a sob. Star’s her best friend so seeing her messed up like this would be hard for her, even though she is a tough bitch.

  I exhale and rub the back of my neck. “Right, well take her to the hospital and call me when you find out if anything is broken. And Papi, if this is on you, you better start thinking of a way to fix this,” I state and he wipes his nose with the back of his hand.

  “I’m sorry, Boss, but I’m going to look after her. I promise.” He stands up and bends down to pick Star up. She moans while he lifts her making me wince. I hate seeing anyone in pain, but one of my employees, well it really gets to me.

  “You better! I’m going to lose a lot with both o
f you out of action for a while,” I state angrily. Actually, I’m seething. I really want to find the person responsible for this, and if Papi has anything to do with it at all, then he’ll have all sorts of trouble coming his way. Not just from me but from Sheila too.

  “I’m sorry, Boss. I never wanted this to happen,” he replies and carries her out of my office. I exhale and shake my head as he walks out. I rub my chin and wonder what the fuck I’m going to do about my second and third in charge being out of action. This is going to hit us hard, because their clients like to stick with who they know. I know Sheila will pick up the slack where she can, but she’s just one person and we’re down two.

  This is very bad for business.

  I look down at the blood on my white sofa and grunt as I lean down and pick up a cushion. I bring it up to my face and smother my mouth with it and let out the biggest scream I can. The air moves out of my lungs quickly and my scream is loud, but muffled by the cushion. I’m so beyond angry right now and all I want to do is drink. Drink to forget in my usual style. I throw the cushion on the sofa and storm out to the foyer where Angel is talking to Sheila and some of the other employees.

  “Why is no one working?” I yell and they all frown but disperse back to their rooms. All except for Sheila and Angel.

  “Boss, I know this is going to be hard… on all of us, but I talked to Chris and he said he could take on Papi’s slack if you want? As for Star’s clients I can always step in if you need me to,” Angel says and I shake my head.

  “No way, Angel. You’re my receptionist and I don’t expect you to be dragged into this mess. As for Chris, who the fuck is that?” I ask and she half-smiles.

  “Right, sorry, I forgot. It’s Thor,” she replies and I nod.

  “Did I call him Thor because his name is Chris, like Chris Hemsworth?” I ask.