Deviance (The Chicago Defiance MC Series Book 3) Read online

  He talked about Mylee like she was a piece of meat.

  She’s anything but.

  My demon ignites my bloodlust, and as I feel arms pulling at me to stop, I can’t. Someone tries to grab at me, so I turn, swinging for them. I connect, but I don’t wait to see who it is before I turn back to my victim. The insatiable need to feel the blood oozing through my fingertips is seeping through my pores. I rip off my gloves as I punch him again. The red liquid smothering my hand while the feeling of it soothes my very soul. Seeing it, feeling it, melding with it. It’s intoxicating. The fire inside of me burns hot. So hot I can’t stand it. Sweat pours off every inch of me as I grab at my balaclava and yank it off my head throwing it to the floor.

  I reach out for the metal tube and swing it with all my might, the thwack and resistance of the tube doesn’t dissuade me at all. In fact, it only ignites me further. I hit him again, the crack resounding through the room as blood splatters on my clothing making me feel more alive than I have in ages.

  Suddenly, two hands grab me on either side and yank me back, effectively pulling me off Miller. I struggle to get free, the demon within raging to be out of control and finish the job. I’m a man possessed, and I need to feel it, his life slipping at my hands. The rush I get from it. The energy pulsing from his life into mine. I need it, I crave it.

  “Stop!” Sensei yells as his hazy outline comes into view.

  It’s only now I realize his balaclava is off as he rubs at his jaw, a bruise forming. It must have been him I hit. My body goes limp in Torque and Crest’s hands as they hold me tight to stop my tirade.

  Sensei stares at me. His hands up to halt me from rushing forward as I pant heavily.

  “Trax, stop!” he murmurs again.

  He’s said my name.

  His balaclava is off.

  I think mine’s off, too.

  Shit! Our identities are out there for Miller to see. This is not good.

  I drop the tube as I pant. “I’m okay,” I murmur, slightly out of breath as Sensei nods to Crest and Torque who slowly let me go. “What happened?” I ask.

  Sensei steps aside to let me see Miller. I inhale sharply as I take in the sight in front of me. His face is a bloody mess, but it’s his jaw that shocks me. His jaw is off at a right angle and to the side clearly broken beyond repair. The side of his skull is caved in. And the blood, there’s so much fucking blood.

  I sink in on myself as I look down at my hands, they’re covered in it. Some of his hair, a little bit of flesh. I love the thrill of causing pain—normally. But this, this has me shocked.

  “You lost control,” Sensei simply states as I let out a deep exhale.

  I glance to Crest, my eyes heavy with an unspoken apology. “I…” I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything else.

  Crest steps in front of me, shoving my body forcefully. I take a step back trying to stop myself from falling while he glares at me. “What the fuck! This is exactly what I told you not to do. I gave you strict instructions and a chance to prove yourself, and you shot that shit to hell. I should gut you right here, but Mylee would never forgive me.” He runs his hands through his hair and turns his back to me.

  Crap! My body feels numb as I drop to the floor.

  I’ve failed Crest.

  I’ve failed my brothers.

  But most of all, I’ve failed Mylee.

  I’ve never let the demon within me take hold completely before.

  Everyone looks down at me but continues talking.

  “What’s the ramifications for you, Crest?” Torque asks.

  “No fucking idea. Hopefully, this can’t be tied back to the club, and he will be just another missing person. So you better make sure disposal is handled appropriately unlike this shit show.”

  “I will take care of this myself, you have my word, Crest,” Sensei states.

  “Was he the only lead you had?” Torque asks.

  Crest rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, he was all I had.”

  Sensei squats in front of me placing his hand on my knee, the sudden movement making me look up. “I think this proves you need to think about control, don’t you?”

  I glance over to Miller’s mangled face. I curl up my lip as I glance to Crest. He pulls off his balaclava and lifts his chin. So, I look back to Sensei and sigh with a nod. “I’ll train with you. I had no fucking idea I could lose control like that.”

  He weakly smiles. “The bloodlust, when it takes over, Trax, you have to know how to fight it, or…” he looks to Miller, “… this happens. I thought it might happen with you one day. You need to be taught just like I was. I see me in you, Trax. This is why I kept on you about it. I knew we would get to this point. It’s also how I know we can fix it.”

  A calm silence filters through the room as I take in what’s being said. I need to change. Something in me that’s broken needs to be fixed. Now. How I do that, I’m not sure. But I know Sensei is the one to help me.

  “Right, now I know we have no leads here, I need to go home in the morning. Trax, you gonna be okay to watch over Mylee? After this shit, I need to know you’re in the right frame of mind,” Crest asks.

  I gather my bearings and stand up. “I only acted out because he talked about Mylee that way. I would never hurt Mylee. You have to know that, Crest.”

  He nods. “I know it. But fuck if you haven’t pissed me the hell off.” He throws the balaclava on the floor, hard. “Fuck! All right, I’ll leave in the morning. I just want to make sure Mylee wakes up with a clear head. Plus, I don’t wanna leave without saying goodbye to her.”

  I nod my head as does Torque, it makes perfect sense. Plus, Mylee would hate it if her dad left without a goodbye. “I’m going to go talk to Ace after I clean up. I want to dig up as much shit on this Everett jackass as I can before morning,” I mention trying to gain some favor.

  Crest lets out a small laugh. “Trust you to go all protector on her, guess it’s damn obvious from this shit show.”

  “If some guy’s out to hurt Mylee, you can rest assured I’m going to find a way to bring that bastard down.”

  Crest leans inward crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not entirely convinced he’s out to hurt her, it’s more about wanting to be with her in his own twisted fucked-up way. I think we can see that by the way he’s telling his friends he’s in a relationship with her, when clearly he isn’t.”

  “Wanting to be with her is even worse. And not gonna happen.”

  Crest chuckles, his chest puffing out as his arms drop to his sides. “Thought you might have something to say about that, too.”

  “Mylee belongs to me, not some fucking insane senator’s asshole son.”

  Torque raises his brow as does Crest, they both swivel toward me.

  “Careful boy, that’s sounding awfully close to claiming talk,” Crest grunts.

  While letting out a small huff, I take a calming breath. Torque looks at me sternly. “All I’m saying is while she’s here, she’s mine. I’m going to take care of her, no one else is gonna come near her. Fair enough?”

  Crest relaxes, a direct gaze set firmly on me. “Right! But don’t you dare think about putting a claim on my little girl without discussing it with me. Get your damn head on straight first, then talk to me if you’re gonna do it…” his face turns red, “… or I swear to God, I will end you.”

  “I hear you. Don’t worry. I’ve tried to claim her once already, and it failed. Not gonna go there again anytime soon.”

  Silence filters through the Chamber. He looks at me like he knows how much of a hard time it was for me. Crest reaches out grabbing my hand, lifts me from the floor, then squeezes my shoulder. “It’s shit how things went down when she left, Trax. She was ill. She wasn’t thinking straight. I had to get her into the hospital. You were the collateral damage in all the mess. Yeah, that’s fucked, but it is what it is. Just know… she never stopped loving you.”

  Taking a deep breath, I lower my head. “I’m glad she go
t the help she needed. I wish I were a part of it... I wanted to be.”

  “I know. At the time it was too damn hard, but now you can be here for her.”

  My head bobs as Torque looks at me. His mouth twitches, his lips tilting. “I think we can all agree this is the best place for Mylee right now. Trax’ll watch out for her. We have no immediate threats to our club. The Yakuza are gone, the Andretti’s are on our side. Everything’s quiet on our end… I can’t foresee any problems, Crest. She should be safe here, for now.”

  Crest exhales like he’s relieved. “Good. I trust you both with her, that’s why I brought her to you.”

  “We won’t fail you, or her,” I express.

  “I know you won’t…” Crest pauses. “Enough of this. Let’s get this fucking mess cleaned up, have some more booze, forget about what happened in here, and have a good night. Yeah?”

  Torque gestures to lead us out of the chamber to a night of frosty beverages. I hope I’m the right person for this job, if not, Crest is going to maim me.

  Just like I maimed Miller.

  MYLEE

  The Next Day

  My head feels kind of groggy. I know this feeling well, but I haven’t experienced it for some time. My eyelids are heavy as I open and close them a few times trying to gather my bearings. My mouth feels like cotton wool, it’s so dry. I need a drink as I slowly sit up taking in the strange surroundings. I vaguely remember coming in here last night, but it’s all such a blur.

  I had a panic attack.

  Because of that, I had the pills, and now my memory of it all is slightly foggy.

  Bits and pieces filter through my brain. Trax was a part of it.

  As I look around the room, I realize I’m in a clubhouse, but it’s not Dad’s.

  I’m at Defiance.

  I’m at Trax’s club.

  I came here with Dad to get away from Everett. It’s all coming back to me now. It’s clearer as the pictures start to replay in my mind.

  Damn, I hate having these blackouts when I wake from an episode.

  Why does everything have to be in such a fucking fog?

  Squinting, I rub my eyes trying to wake myself up a little more. I have no idea on the time other than it’s daylight outside. Glancing to the side table, I see a glass of water. My eyes open wide in delight as I reach for the glass downing the entire contents without hesitation. The cotton balls in my mouth only marginally dissipate—I’m always thirsty these days.

  Damn meds.

  Standing from the bed, the blanket falls away from me. I stumble a little but quickly right myself as I take a steadying breath.

  I’m okay.

  I can do this.

  I’m a strong woman.

  I’ve been through far, far worse than one panic attack.

  On the floor, I notice my ballet flats, so I slide them on before I walk to the door. Taking a deep breath with my hand on the handle, I mentally tell myself, I can do this.

  Opening the door, the sounds from the clubroom waft down the hall along with the smell of bacon. My lips slowly incline as I walk down the hall toward the clubroom. I have no idea what I’ll be walking into, but I know I can’t hide out in my room forever. That’s not the girl I am anymore. So I hold my head high stepping into the clubroom.

  There’s a general buzz in the room—bikers eating breakfast, club girls serving food—an alive atmosphere of energy pulsing through the air. These guys all look happy like everything’s fallen into place for them. Which is the complete opposite for me, of course. My life seems to be slowly falling out of sync again. Which is alarming me.

  As I step into the room, one biker notices me, so I take a breath and flash him my pearly whites. He grins back, then another notices me. He too grins. Then another. Then another, until almost everyone in the room turns to look my way. They’re all beaming so wide, I begin to wonder why they’re all smiling at me.

  It’s making me a little uncomfortable as my hands link together, my thumbs tapping against each other nervously as I try to figure out what they’re all staring at. Glancing up, I see Trax striding toward me. He really has gotten better looking these past two years. He was already muscular, but now he seems even more built with those bulging biceps smattered in tattoos. The way his waist tapers down into his jeans I pure perfection. I know he’d have one of those V’s women go gaga over. Thinking about it is almost making me drool on the spot. His handsome face covered in a beard, that’s not too long but enough to be sexy, his nose ring, and his eyes are the most intense blue I’ve ever known. There’s something about his eyes. The way they hold so much emotion, the way they can tell you a thousand stories without saying a single word. His eyes are truly the window to his soul, and looking in them is a dangerous thing for me. I’ve been lost in them many a time. Right now, the way he’s looking at me with that slight gleam in them, I know he’s in a better mood than yesterday.

  Seeing him in all his sexy glory should soothe me, but I’m still wondering why everyone’s observing me as I stand here while he looks me up and down. His bright smile calms me as he walks right up to me, a soft chuckle echoing from his lips. “Morning, Mylee, sleep well?” he asks. His hands reaching up either side of my head, and I follow his movements.

  I gulp as he struggles with my mess of hair. “I, ahh…” My eyes dart upward to him patting my hair down. “Was my hair everywhere?” I whisper making him chuckle.

  “Yeah, you kinda had a nest going on there. But you’re good, I got you,” he consoles leaning in, planting a chaste kiss on my forehead, then wraps his arm around my shoulders pulling me to him.

  “Thank you. I was wondering why everyone was smirking at me.” This is a totally different Trax to the one in his room yesterday.

  “They couldn’t understand how a beauty like you could have a nest like that,” he teases as I let out a small laugh. As his hands fall, I notice his knuckles are bruised and swollen. I find it odd, I’m sure they weren’t like that yesterday when I arrived, but I ignore it as he leads me over toward the bar. I let out a relieved exhale as the other bikers in the clubroom all smile, some even winking their approval.

  I glance to Trax raising my brow. “I don’t want to jinx anything, but you seem to have changed your tune since yesterday?”

  He weakly smiles with a nod. “Yeah, I reacted shit when you arrived. Shock can be a bitch… I also had a chat with your dad. Just know you’re going to be in good hands here, Mylee. I’m not going to let you down.”

  Sighing, I tilt my head. “That must have been some epic chat?”

  He chuckles. “You have no idea what went on. Crest is highly motivational, but you helped the cause, too.” He winks at me as we approach the bar, and we stand there where the club girls are busy doing their morning thing.

  “Cindi… Hayley… ladies, can you get us some breakfast?” Trax asks while I assess the two club girls.

  “Sure thing, Trax. Full breakfast?” the brunette who I’m sure was in Trax’s room when I arrived asks.

  “You want a cooked breakfast?” Trax turns to me.

  “If it means bacon, then God, yes.” I groan making them both laugh.

  “Coming right up.”

  “Thanks, Cindi…” Trax starts to turn to walk away but then stops. “Oh, any news on Ruby?”

  I raise my brow.

  “She’s doing much better. Should be home today sometime,” Cindi replies, and everyone within earshot lets out a cheer.

  “That’s fucking great news. Okay, gotta get Mylee settled,” Trax calls out pulling me with him as we walk off to the table.

  I turn to look at him. “What’s wrong with Ruby? She’s a club girl, right?” I ask vaguely remembering the name.

  He exhales as we slide in taking a seat next to Dad, Torque, Sensei, Chains, Ace, and Surge. “She was drugged by the Yakuza. The assholes overdosed her, and she was pretty sick, but Kline and Foxy have been helping her recover in the hospital.”

  “Foxy?”

  We all c
huckle. “You have so much to catch up on,” Trax murmurs.

  I glance across to Dad, his kind eyes warm my soul. “I’m glad you didn’t leave, Dad,” I call out, and he smiles.

  “Leave without saying goodbye to my baby girl? I wouldn’t do that to you, Mylee.”

  Happiness ignites inside of me. “Thanks, Dad, I appreciate it.”

  “But I am leaving this morning. I have to get back to the club, they need me. But, if at any time you need me, just call. If at any time Trax thinks you need extra help, he’s going to call me. Okay?” he states.

  I glance to Trax who’s watching me closely. “I should be fine. I have Trax, and I have Neala. If all else fails, I have my pills. If all that fails, they’ll call you. But Dad, I’ve been fine for six months—”

  “Fine until yesterday. Mylee—”

  “Yes, but yesterday I saw Trax for the first time in two years. It was…” I hesitate as I glance at him, he exhales then I look back to Dad. “Trax and I know how to handle this. We spent a lot of time together, and now we have the bonus of having medication to help with anything that comes our way. We can do this… right?” I look at Trax on the last word.

  He grins that lopsided smirk and tightens his grip around my shoulders. “Right.”

  Dad bows his head with a sigh. “I know you can. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have brought you here. But you know no matter what, I will always worry about you, Mylee.”

  “I know, Dad… I know.”

  He shakes his head, standing from the table. “I should go. I’ve got a four-hour ride back to the club. I have to get back in time for a shipment. Trax, if you need anything…”

  “I’ll call,” Trax replies.

  I stand from the table, Trax’s arm dropping from my shoulders as I walk around to my dad. He wastes no time taking me into a giant embrace, the tightest I’ve felt from him in a long time as he holds me to him.

  I don’t know how long I’m going to be staying at Defiance, but I know it’s going to be a while—until they can figure out a way to deal with Everett. With him being a senator’s son, they need something that’s going to work without simply taking him out. So for now, Chicago Defiance is my home. But that doesn’t scare me. If anything, it brings with it new excitement, a new chapter in my life. Something challenging to look forward to and maybe something old to rekindle.